Possible Consolation

Last night I started to read `The Witch of Portobello’ yet another book by Paulo Coelho. This book was a gift from my little princess on my recent birthday. It was very smart of her to get me this book and not others (of course thanks to the master mind behind her, none other than her gym geek sister). I will not be talking about this book, but one of the sentences that came in the early chapter is something that brought back many memories of realization.

`If there is any possible consolation in the tragedy of losing someone we love very much, it’s the necessary hope that perhaps it was for the best’.

I can imagine how painful it must be to lose someone that you love, cherish, and appreciate so much. This topic is too often a discussion between me, the kids and hubby. Being the oldest in this little family, I always have the notion that I will be the first to go. If so that is true, I want my loved ones to be prepared, to be able to let go, not to mourn, but to pick up the pieces and move on. Of course, none of them take me seriously, as always they say that I am being over dramatic.

My young cousin who is the only boy in his family demised so suddenly and so alone, while we were all in my house celebrating Eid. I still felt the pain of the loss till today because of the situation of the tragedy, often too I dreamt of him. However, the dreams were always beautiful, and I will console myself by believing that he is in a better place, and very much protected by the Almighty.

Then there was the demise on my staff, so unexpected, too tragic for words, and too painful to recall. It has been more than 7 years now, but how can I forget, no matter how much I tried, the look of her face in the morgue was just like yesterday. I believe too that she has been granted a better place by the Almighty.

So, it must be true then that the only consolation for us to overcome the constant pang of sadness for such loses is to believe that it was only for the best.
How often do we plan our last day, how often do we joke or cry about it? Well, for me often enough, too often that the kids and hubby don’t want to listen to it any more, or they can already complete my story. (lol).

My pact with hubby is that I want to die in his arms, with him saying all the prayers for me, so that I will go in peace. However, we also often say that we want to die together, so that none of us will suffer. How la, like that? But, this is just me, I like to talk about this topic, not simply for fun, but along the way, I know the message will be delivered.

Thank you God for another day. Alhamdulillah.