Commit Suicide

I was shocked to know that she tried to commit suicide yet again today, first she did an overdose and now she wants to jump into the river. I have spoken to her before, encouraging her to seek help and assuring her that the world is not as bad as she thought it to be. Well, she did seek help, she went for a couple of counseling sessions, and they gave her tons of medication to calm her down, thought it only made her worse.

When my daughter told me of her eccentric behavior prior to all this, I told her that as a friend you should always stand by her, do not criticize her but try to understand why she is like that. Then we discovered the truth (which is too personal to be shared), and the more I told my daughter to understand her.

People can be very judgmental, quick to conclude such an attempt as an insane act. To me, it is not, it is more of a character of voicing out one’s painful emotional hopelessness, which could not be expressed on a normal channel. When you could not trust anyone to pour your heart out to, the world will become a smaller place to live in; in your head you will create clutters in the form of questions and answers, vengeful, vindictive and destructive. Suicide is not the answer and neither is it the right choice. Death is not the solution.

Why is it that she is not improving with the doctor’s help, could she be too dependent on the drugs given that she can no longer have a hold of herself? Why is she wasting away? To me, she is such a sweet person, petite, intelligent and very kind. From the terrible tragedy that befalls her, I could only conclude that she is finding herself unworthy of forgiveness, added on with the entrapment of home and parental control.

My daughter wants to give up on her, but I said no, I told my daughter to try and read some `surah’ to her, talk to her and try not to leave her alone. But, I do understand that my daughter’s patience is running out too. Worst case scenario is that they are roomies.

It does not help to know also that because of her attempt to jump into the river, it is now a police case; however, it just ends there. The government is not offering help at all, and she was sent back to the Student Affairs of the University, neither do they take precaution to protect her, she was sent back to her hostel. What are these people thinking of?

Many people don't think suicide is an important issue, to them; it is just like a toothache. It will be bothering you for a while, once it is taken out, no one even wants to know when you had the bad tooth. Life is too precious. I wish I can hold her and tell her this, I wish she can set a goal with determination to get her out of this situation. I don’t want her to realize when it is already too late, and she should know that once one takes his/her own life, this will be a point of no return. Can you see that killing yourself will not make you happy or go to heaven; it will only make you dead.

I wish I can create a forum to show her that people care and that she is loved.