My Hideout

There were moments in my life that I question my existence, especially when more than often I saw dark clouds surrounding me. The moving from Singapore was very tough for me to accept and to understand. I kept things to myself, I don’t trust to share my predicament with anyone. My mom nags a lot, she nags over the same thing, she nags over nothing, and she nags as though she is doing a ritual or a blessing for the house.

It was moments like this that I will go to my hideout; I discovered that there is a Christian cemetery not too far from my house, and I will sneak out in times of solitude. First it was quite scary, as the graveyard is covered with thick jungle, and the surrounding was very quiet, except for the sound of birds, and people passing by every once a while. Then, I realized that I enjoyed being there, it is as though I’m making some kind of contact by reading the inscriptions on the tombstones. I will go from one grave to the other, reading, understanding, wondering and thinking. This is a real escape for me.

There were times that I will come across a real burial, and I will follow them, listening very carefully to what they were praying and wait until the body was lowered to the ground. A few days later, I will come back to see what was written on the tombstone.

Now, I do not go to that graveyard anymore, it does not look interesting as most of the old graves look so sad compared to the new ones. And, I am yet to find a new hideout, meanwhile, I read the obituary in the papers, not only that, I also cut and keep the interesting contributions. Weird you might think but life is weird right?