Pervert On Board

The boarding gate opened early. As soon as the announcement was made, everyone was rushing like mad, and it does not matter if they were parents with children or business class passenger. I was, like, ok people, you have your seat number already right? So, why the rush? They are behaving like as though, it was their first time travelling. As usual, I will take my own sweet time to board and does not mind being the last pun.

Finally, I was on the plane, and yeah, my seat, MY SEAT; someone’s sleeping on my seat. Ahh…., maybe I got the wrong seat, take your time (my mind was telling me), and look again. Confirmed IT IS MY SEAT!!!!!! And that guy who looks very much like the most wanted person on earth, with an elephant butt face, as fat as a hippo, unruly looking beard that cover half his chest and a top hat (tarbus) on his head was snoring in MY SEAT. Slowly, I said `excuse me, you are sitting on my seat’ and he (while rubbing his eyes, and licking his tongue --- gruesome, I bet he was drooling already), got up and, OMG he’s huge, and he is a picture of mutawa (meaning the religious wannabe, as he is also wearing this Arabic attire whose length comes in between his foot and knee). Gosh….. Good luck to me! I demanded a change of pillow as well as the blanket.

Settled in, however, I have to plaster myself against the wall of the plane, as this idiot is so huge and he took half of my seat as well, you wonder how? His left arm was as big as my thigh or may be bigger, and he just conveniently put all of that chunk of meat on the arm rest between us, do I have a choice?

It is my habit that before the flight took off, I will be sleeping already, so same goes tonight. Don’t know how long I was sleeping, suddenly I felt some hands rubbing and squeezing my thigh. I must be dreaming, so I was like, ok because I really can’t open my eyes, then the rubbing and squeezing become more obvious, I jumped out of seat and shouted at him, to my horror, he had the blanket covered his hands that was rubbing and squeezing me. Bloody pervert, being an ardent traveler, I don’t want to make anyone’s life miserable, so I took it that his hand was sleep walking.

I took my cupido and put her on my chest, just in case the hand sleep walking gets more adventurous, and within seconds I was asleep again. However, not long after, I felt that someone was sleeping on my shoulder, and breathing so heavily and it was that fucking pervert again. I got up, shouted at him, push him aside and warn him that I can get him into a lot of trouble if he does not behave. I doubt if he even understand anything that I said. I can’t change my seat, as the flight that night was overbooked.

After nearly an hour of reading, I slept again, still plastered to the wall of the plane, and cupido covering my chest. The stewardess woke me up for breakfast (which was horrible, the scramble eggs was so salty and the onion rings so soggy). The pervert was eating like a retard, and yeah, you right, if he can eat the plates and the cups, he would have done so too. Honest to God, he is the most disgusting traveler that I have ever come across.

Once landed, I just can’t wait to get down, can’t wait to run away from him, not only he is fat, ugly, pervert, he smells baddddddd. I was so tempted to take his picture, but he was watching me like a radar, so takut pulak, but Alhamdulillah, I arrived at the first destination safe. Point to ponder: when our luggage is overweight we will have to pay for it but when fat asshole board the plane and took 1 ½ seat, do they pay extra?