Snow, Snow Go Away

I woke up with the hope that the day will continue with no more snow flakes, but my hope was shattered yet again. From my window I could see beautiful big flakes of snow, so quickly filling up the ground and turning everything white, The wind was blowing so strong, twisting the snow into little circles before it touches the ground.

I sit for a long time watching this scene, and it made me sad, I am not a snow person, the cold and gloomy weather that comes with it is so depressing. At one point of time, I associated the winter weather as a serene march of darkness, it is eerie, seeing all the trees with snow filled branches, seeing people walking so in a huff to escape the cold without communicating, seeing babies in their pusher so wrapped up that you could hardly tell if they are still breathing, seeing the so active dogs walking with their ears dropping to the crowd, honestly this is eerie right.

With all these thoughts on mind, I was so overcome with emotions of self pity, being trapped in the house, not even daring myself to go out for the shopping adventure that I love so much, I hate winter and as much as the snow is a pretty scene, I hate walking in the snow, everything is so wet and slippery. This is my life now, can I continue this feeling of sadness each time the winter season is around or will I ever learn to adapt? I don’t know, has fate yet again changed my destiny.

My cheeks are suddenly warm with tears, I am in a turmoil, torn between the duty of a wife and a mother, where is the me, I and myself, I realized that they were gone a long time ago. My dedication is to my family and I just don’t live the life that I should be living, do I regret this? No, not a bit because life is not about regretting, life is not about pondering and self pity.

I guess once the sun starts shining again, I will be a happier person, and with the melting snow may all the contemplation and self pity will drain off me. InsyaAllah