Tell Me Are You The Ghost Of Jealousy

I love you Michael. Forever missed

Silvester Celebration

Goodbye 2009

Quality Time To Departure

Spending quality time in anticipation of the countdown to her departure.

Knowing

Nicolas Cage was never one of an actor that I fancy watching, I thought he was kind of plain, boring and nothing much to think of. However, after watching The Bad Lieutenant, I discovered that he was not that bad after all.

I am not sure if it was the character he played or it was just his face. He has this kind of look that you love to hate, or you keep wondering how much more pathetic can this guy be, but he was indeed a good actor.

Last night we watched Knowing (a science fiction), again it was a Nicolas Cage heroic vendetta. Oh, ok I am not going to write about him, rather it was the movie that got hubby and me into deep discussion, and weirdly beginning to again ponder the very existence of humans.

The plot in this movie involves some kind of philosophical debates about the universe. The buildup was rather draggy, could be somewhat boring and predictable too. It makes you wonder if the universe is actually determined or is just random? Is everything in some way preordained or does it happen by chance?

We were eager to witness the ending of the story, and finally slept at nearly 2 am in the morning, still deep in thought of the destruction and the end of the world. I don’t know what we were discussing about at the wee hours of dawn, but I realized that in a tiny way the movie had an impact on us. Thus, bringing us to pledge yet again our love for each other (ha ha ha……… so over dramatic), and wondering if the end of the world could be so endearing as in Knowing. We don’t know, we will never know, but one thing we know we so do not wish to be around to witness this.

At the end of it we both agreed that it would be very cruel to bring yet another life to this world.

The Curse of The PSP

Once upon a time, there were a family; they lived together under one roof for they have no other choice. There was lots of laughter equal to lots of abuse, and exchanging of foul words towards each other on a daily basis.

Then one by one they began to leave the house, for each had found their own career and life. Some were more successful than others, but they will always get together at least once a year. The old house will be lit up, now sounds of children voices, happily playing, running around in the garden, and not forgetting like their parents, they too fight with each other. They even fight over the simplest of things like food. They were the next generation. Yet the squabbling among the parents never ceased to diminish.

On one occasion one of the young lads had brought home a new PSP, yeah not all the other parents could afford to get their children the same game. So the young lad became the center of attention for the rest of the cousins, for when he becomes bored of playing, they will get the opportunity to have a feel at the PSP.

As the story goes, the PSP suddenly went missing; no one knew where it went or who was hiding it. But tongues started lashing, fingers started pointing, accusation became wild, and the house became so chaotic because of one fucking PSP.

Those who felt the heat were feeling their ass on fire, the poor old grandfather deep in thought trying his best to pacify the situation. I guess his prayers were answered, the idiot who hid the PSP suddenly owned up that all the time that he was keeping it for his son. End of story, so they thought, but people have feelings, many were scared but no one dared to confront the truth.

What the idiot forgot is that the Lord is watching, the tears of the accused never stop falling even when they are in prayers. The PSP curse had just begun.

One night while they were soundly sleeping, uninvited robbers came to their crib. No one knew exactly what really happened, they were too deep in their sleep, may be they were in uncle scrooge's safety box, with shining gold and crisp sound of the greens. The robbers had a fun time.

I wonder if the owner of the house starts to be suspicious again after the intruder’s incident, for the PSP was the very thing that got stolen…………….. ha ha ha

Yes, the curse of the PSP.

Drained

I keep asking myself, why do I have to care so much, why do I always insist on perfection, when I know that nothing is perfect, and why do I go on sleepless nights just wondering, what ifs and what if not’s? Honestly, my energy has long been drained, I told myself to stop, keep reminding me that, but I know I have not been fair to me.

It is strange also why I don’t cry anymore even when my heart is being battered to pieces, is this good sign or is this bad? I don’t know……………. Just don’t know.

Those were the days that watching movies will take such an effort. I can never finish one movie at a go, it will take me 2 to 3 days to complete a movie, yet now I am watching at least 3 movies in a go. It is as though nothing else matters, it is as though I am in a different world of my own, nothing else makes any impact. Why the sudden change? I asked me.

The truth is I don't feel much of anything anymore, could it be that I am at the brink of fuck it, go to hell for all I care, or am I so torched emotionally that I have lost all sense of loving. But why now, why suddenly, should I be rejoicing in celebration for these achievements?

Feeling, like thinking, caring, planning and loving seem to be a luxury that I don't have time for needless to say. Well I guess this is probably a good thing because if I did have the time, I can't imagine feeling anything that I would especially want to feel.

Go figure……………..

Next Stop

On Christmas eve, we were spending our time at the hospital. The queue was not long as the emergency department was very organized. When we arrived there, apparently we were standing in line at the wrong counter. Patients with referral letters were sent direct to a room with an attending nurse and not at the registering counter.

Here like in many Western countries nurses play a major role in the front line of a hospital. They will be talking to you first, coding you and categorizing which specialist area you ought to be waiting at. It was fast and smooth, no hustle at all.

The surgery area where I was asked to wait had 3 patients including me. We waited for approximately 15 minutes before the surgical doctor’s arrival. There were no nurses in waiting with the doctor; the nurse will be called upon only when she/he was required. The doctor himself will call each patient and accompany us back to his room. It was more personal.

The doctor I met today was one of the best doctors that I have met in a very long time. He was just adorable, putting me at ease immediately, throwing questions at me like as though we were long lost friends, and putting forward the probability without scaring the shit out of me. When he withdraw my blood, he knew instantly that he could not get any from the veins in my arm, he does not even bother to try putting the needle there, instead he went direct to the back of my hand, with a butterfly needle he drew 3 tubes of blood with me feeling nothing at all. It was really a first experience for me to have my blood taken without pain or bruise or blue black mark afterwards.

To cut the story short, I am referred to a surgical surgeon in a private clinic, as the procedure that was required for me to do was immediate, the waiting time in the hospital for these procedures is long. So, therefore.

It is still the holiday celebration here, so I am yet to be in touch with the new surgeon. He is formally based at the well known Rudolfinerhaus private hospital here. However, the location is too far from us, I hope we will be meeting at a closer address.

12.28.2009……………………… waiting continues.

Mind Over Matter

All they wanted from me for X’mas is a sample of my poops and tubes of my blood. How hard is that? Answer, very hard, as I am a natural born constipate. I only have the urge to poop once a week or three days once. Believe it or not, I have been like this ever since I can remember. Now with the pressure put on me, it is making the situation worse.

Where my blood is concerned, I am used to being poked by the needles and am not too afraid of that, however, my veins are so embedded that the doctor has to keep on poking both my arms before the blood can be taken. Even if the pain is bearable it can be super super annoying.

So for now, with the persisting excruciating pain and the pressure on me nothing is happening. I guess it is mind over matter.

……………. and the waiting continues.

Let's Just Party

The Birthday Boy Got A Vaseline (lol)

The Happy Wife

The Erected Hat

Wondering Santa

Team Lead Deep In Thought

The President Men

The Happy People

The Happy People 2

Great company, excellent food, competitive spirit, friendly noisy chats, hilarious top hats, laughter and more laughter. Just what we needed for a memorable X’mas party to mark the ending of the season.

Doctor Oh Doctor

Trip to the doctor yet again, it was a tiring moment. After the X-rays on my spine and left shoulder, it was the mammograms and sonograms and now a battery of other tests to be taken.

However, all the private laboratories are closed for the long Christmas holidays starting 1300 hours today, as well as the Surgeon that I was referred to. Left with no choice I was advised to go to the emergency unit of the hospital immediately.

It was kind of sudden and took me by surprise. Though I am someone with a strong threshold for pain, this time round I am close to defeat. I refused to take any pain killer at all, today my doctor told me not to take any medication, so that the laboratory test results will not be influenced.

All the referral letters were in German, whatever I translated was the least that I could understand, but what was spoken with the private doctor do raised some concern on my part.

I was dragging myself back from the clinic this evening, and all I could think of was I need to stock up the fridge before the long holidays, so that hubby and my angels will not be without food. I need to take care of my medic princess needs back home. I need to do the washing of white clothes so that hubby will not be burdened with all the chores. Oh my poor wondering mind.

I hope the trip to the emergency later will not turn out to be what was discussed with my GP. insyaAllah.

Merry Xmas and Happy New Year

What Your Children Know

The kids reciting the Declaration of Human Rights, they were so enthusiastic in letting the parents and teachers know that they are now aware of their rights. Believe it or not some of the kids are holding these against their teachers already............................ be careful what you want your kids to know, it may be used against you (lol).

Human Rights Declaration

Article 1.
All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.

Article 2.
Everyone is entitled to all the rights and freedoms set forth in this Declaration, without distinction of any kind, such as race, color, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth or other status. Furthermore, no distinction shall be made on the basis of the political, jurisdictional or international status of the country or territory to which a person belongs, whether it be independent, trust, non-self-governing or under any other limitation of sovereignty.

Article 3.
Everyone has the right to life, liberty and security of person.

Article 4.
No one shall be held in slavery or servitude; slavery and the slave trade shall be prohibited in all their forms.

Article 5.
No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment.

Article 6.
Everyone has the right to recognition everywhere as a person before the law.

Article 7.
All are equal before the law and are entitled without any discrimination to equal protection of the law. All are entitled to equal protection against any discrimination in violation of this Declaration and against any incitement to such discrimination.

Article 8.
Everyone has the right to an effective remedy by the competent national tribunals for acts violating the fundamental rights granted him by the constitution or by law.

Article 9.
No one shall be subjected to arbitrary arrest, detention or exile.

Article 10.
Everyone is entitled in full equality to a fair and public hearing by an independent and impartial tribunal, in the determination of his rights and obligations and of any criminal charge against him.

Article 11.
(1) Everyone charged with a penal offence has the right to be presumed innocent until proved guilty according to law in a public trial at which he has had all the guarantees necessary for his defence.

(2) No one shall be held guilty of any penal offence on account of any act or omission which did not constitute a penal offence, under national or international law, at the time when it was committed. Nor shall a heavier penalty be imposed than the one that was applicable at the time the penal offence was committed.

Article 12.
No one shall be subjected to arbitrary interference with his privacy, family, home or correspondence, nor to attacks upon his honour and reputation. Everyone has the right to the protection of the law against such interference or attacks.

Article 13.
(1) Everyone has the right to freedom of movement and residence within the borders of each state.

(2) Everyone has the right to leave any country, including his own, and to return to his country.

Article 14.
(1) Everyone has the right to seek and to enjoy in other countries asylum from persecution.

(2) This right may not be invoked in the case of prosecutions genuinely arising from non-political crimes or from acts contrary to the purposes and principles of the United Nations.

Article 15.
(1) Everyone has the right to a nationality.

(2) No one shall be arbitrarily deprived of his nationality nor denied the right to change his nationality.

Article 16.
(1) Men and women of full age, without any limitation due to race, nationality or religion, have the right to marry and to found a family. They are entitled to equal rights as to marriage, during marriage and at its dissolution.

(2) Marriage shall be entered into only with the free and full consent of the intending spouses.

(3) The family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society and is entitled to protection by society and the State.

Article 17.
(1) Everyone has the right to own property alone as well as in association with others.

(2) No one shall be arbitrarily deprived of his property.

Article 18.
Everyone has the right to freedom of thought, conscience and religion; this right includes freedom to change his religion or belief, and freedom, either alone or in community with others and in public or private, to manifest his religion or belief in teaching, practice, worship and observance.

Article 19.
Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers.

Article 20.
(1) Everyone has the right to freedom of peaceful assembly and association.

(2) No one may be compelled to belong to an association.

Article 21.
(1) Everyone has the right to take part in the government of his country, directly or through freely chosen representatives.

(2) Everyone has the right of equal access to public service in his country.

(3) The will of the people shall be the basis of the authority of government; this will shall be expressed in periodic and genuine elections which shall be by universal and equal suffrage and shall be held by secret vote or by equivalent free voting procedures.

Article 22.
Everyone, as a member of society, has the right to social security and is entitled to realization, through national effort and international co-operation and in accordance with the organization and resources of each State, of the economic, social and cultural rights indispensable for his dignity and the free development of his personality.

Article 23.
(1) Everyone has the right to work, to free choice of employment, to just and favourable conditions of work and to protection against unemployment.

(2) Everyone, without any discrimination, has the right to equal pay for equal work.

(3) Everyone who works has the right to just and favourable remuneration ensuring for himself and his family an existence worthy of human dignity, and supplemented, if necessary, by other means of social protection.

(4) Everyone has the right to form and to join trade unions for the protection of his interests.

Article 24.
Everyone has the right to rest and leisure, including reasonable limitation of working hours and periodic holidays with pay.

Article 25.
(1) Everyone has the right to a standard of living adequate for the health and well-being of himself and of his family, including food, clothing, housing and medical care and necessary social services, and the right to security in the event of unemployment, sickness, disability, widowhood, old age or other lack of livelihood in circumstances beyond his control.

(2) Motherhood and childhood are entitled to special care and assistance. All children, whether born in or out of wedlock, shall enjoy the same social protection.

Article 26.
(1) Everyone has the right to education. Education shall be free, at least in the elementary and fundamental stages. Elementary education shall be compulsory. Technical and professional education shall be made generally available and higher education shall be equally accessible to all on the basis of merit.

(2) Education shall be directed to the full development of the human personality and to the strengthening of respect for human rights and fundamental freedoms. It shall promote understanding, tolerance and friendship among all nations, racial or religious groups, and shall further the activities of the United Nations for the maintenance of peace.

(3) Parents have a prior right to choose the kind of education that shall be given to their children.

Article 27.
(1) Everyone has the right freely to participate in the cultural life of the community, to enjoy the arts and to share in scientific advancement and its benefits.

(2) Everyone has the right to the protection of the moral and material interests resulting from any scientific, literary or artistic production of which he is the author.

Article 28.
Everyone is entitled to a social and international order in which the rights and freedoms set forth in this Declaration can be fully realized.

Article 29.
(1) Everyone has duties to the community in which alone the free and full development of his personality is possible.

(2) In the exercise of his rights and freedoms, everyone shall be subject only to such limitations as are determined by law solely for the purpose of securing due recognition and respect for the rights and freedoms of others and of meeting the just requirements of morality, public order and the general welfare in a democratic society.

(3) These rights and freedoms may in no case be exercised contrary to the purposes and principles of the United Nations.

Article 30.
Nothing in this Declaration may be interpreted as implying for any State, group or person any right to engage in any activity or to perform any act aimed at the destruction of any of the rights and freedoms set forth herein.

Countdown

Entertaining Chef Diva while the countdown starts, we took the angels to Parndorf today. The snow was falling hard and strong, the only bonus was the wind was mild. Even from outside the main door they were making snow balls, fooling around, and throwing at each other. I am not game for this but, well still got hit too.

We had fun and most importantly quality time together. It was quite late when we return. The ride by bus took an hour due to the road being slippery.

All along the scenery was just breath taking, and I am loving it, not the temperature though.

Another Brick In The Wall

We don't need no education

We dont need no thought control

No dark sarcasm in the classroom

Teachers leave them kids alone

Hey! Teachers! Leave them kids alone!

All in all it's just another brick in the wall.

All in all you're just another brick in the wall.

This was the opening song at the International Evening 'Another Brick in the Wall', the kids trying their best to get a message across to the teachers. It was smart and sassy and cool. I love it, and hilarious too.

So teachers take a bow.

I Was Made For You

You are ...................... simply snailious

Chef Diva In The Kitchen

When you see not a single plate still standing on the shelf in the cabinet, and the sink full of them, you know that Chef Diva was in the kitchen.

When you can hear La Roux, or Tegan and Sara singing on top of their voices behind the closed kitchen door, you know Chef Diva is in there.

When you wait, and wait in anticipation for hours on ends, then comes this most delicious dish of Salmon Quiche, or Roast Chicken, or the best of meat pastry and the finest of éclairs, you know Chef Diva was in the kitchen.

She is getting more adventurous with her testing of recipes; she is especially diligent with her western cooking, but still sucks good time with Asian. Forever meticulous, she cannot go without a single ingredient missing, she will not compromise for anything in order to achieve the results that she wants. She will even go the distance in the cold winter to hunt for the required ingredients. Her standards are high, and she can get pretty upset if it was otherwise.

But, I hate going into the kitchen when she is there…………….. simply because she makes the already small kitchen such a minute place (*wink*).

12 Days of Christmas

Fighting her self confidence, stage fright and shyness, my little angel became a hero and part of the team in the performance for the International Evening. On the way to the school she must have had millions of butterflies in her stomach; for she kept telling me ‘what if I forgot the lyrics?’ I just assured her that she will be fine.

Guess what! she was fine, as they sang the 12 days of Christmas song. She has to sing the fifth day part, and of course they all have to remember the whole twelve days thingy …………………….. as this was a group performance.

On the fifth day of Christmas,

my true love sent to me

Five golden rings,

Four calling birds,

Three French hens,

Two turtle doves,

And a partridge in a pear tree.