Looking back at the appointed times, what I believed was supposed to happen will not happen without His grace. I am blessed, and I have the least of worries. If He wants it then it will happen, for now I am moving on.
This is me playing a secret game of tug of war with Ovarian Cancer. I have mentioned a couple of time in my other entry the medical fees here is impossible at times, every one, every department within the circle that supposedly were to give you the treatment wants a cut of the payment that you were requested to pay. From your GP, to the consultant, to the hospital, and to the apotheke, at every stop a bill will be issued. It is ridiculous but this is the reality of life here.
I am in a love and hate relationship with the medical department here, but lately I am pretending that they do not exist anymore, I pretend that I have forgotten the many appointments that I was supposed to go to, I pretend that they are not the integral part of my life. This is the only way to make me feel happy, and not be sad because I could not meet up to the financial requirement of my medical needs.
However, I am just human, and then there is this very big part of me that feels that I am guilty of not doing enough justice to myself. I feel that I am not pulling or fighting hard against this disease. I am at this juncture of my life, I thought that nothing would be difficult, but I was wrong.
I am losing my zest and that makes me sad.
1 comment:
To think that we have come a long way from the time that people used to go to shamans for treatment. Medicine has advanced a great deal since then, but human greed did not. It is no secret that the system is up for making money just like the shamans used to. They prey on the sick.
It does not help, especially when coupled with indifferent hypocrites from every-side “family and strangers”. The saying stands valid:
When the cow falls down, knives are plentiful
Just believe in him and be proud my love, you are bullet proof and nothing will bring you down.
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