Uncertainty

For the past two days I have been hit by an uncertainty of waves. I guess I must have anticipated that it will come gradually if not sooner, it is so critical that everything peaceful suddenly becomes fiery, and then I also realized that I have some kind of memory lapse when I am being hit by these waves.

I cannot even imagine putting reasons to why these waves can be such obstruction to my norm. Somehow when I think again it is weird for someone like me to fall prey to the waves every once in a grey moon. Funny as you may think there would be very little that warrants such a situation, it came from nowhere. It is not like there will be an earthquake tremor to trigger this, there can be absolutely nothing but it just comes crashing on me, just like that.

I must also not deny the fact that there were moments I could be hit real hard, just like those fishing boats in the middle of the ocean, suddenly being hit with a huge high wave that is without warning, and could either break me to pieces, or stun me to numbness. It will effect my emotions so bad that the reel of bad memories will just keep playing the stories that I have had long thought buried. When this happens it weakens me so much so that I just want to hide in the closet, only to be discovered when I am ready to smile again.

So yes, to each and every one of you that is living with me physically or virtually, just remember that I can get hit by these waves. Therefore, if I start to snare at you, just tolerate my moment, just be nice to me, or better just leave me alone.