Grandma had a heart of gold

Adjusting to changes when you move is not easy, especially so when you cannot tell anyone of how you feel, your sadness, frustration and above all confusion. Suddenly I found myself living with so many people under one roof, there were my aunties, my uncle, my grandparents and, my own siblings. It was tough, we learn to share everything, learn to take turns in using the shower, learn to be responsible, it was a moment of growing up too fast for me.

Solace to me was spending time at school, the longer I stay in school the better, I will find every excuse to be in school. However, being a prefect, active in sports, active in clubs etc give me the opportunity to be away from home. I remember leaving home very early in the morning and arriving back when the sun is already down. I was so active in school that I became the school hockey captain, and also played for the state, represent the school in traditional dancing, represent the school to state level in economic quizzes, I was also active in doing time at the old folks home. Anything, anything at all, just to be away from home.

Lunch and dinner time, are not one of the best memories for me. Looking back now, I know why I am always lazy to feed myself, because as a teenager then, we will be forced to have our food being hand fed by my aunties. You also learn to accept that you might get less fed if you are not a good girl that day. It was a moment, where I learn to be very cautious with everything that I do, mistakes means punishment. Grandma, I do understand her stressed, with too many of us running around the whole house 24/7. Being canned, or have your hair pulled and your ear pinched till they trickled with blood are all too common. How, then do you verge your anger? For me, I will kill grandma's adorable little fluffy chicks. Seeing the chicks dying give me the satisfaction of getting even, good thing, I was never caught red handed.

Urban to rural........ how do you sum such movement, you simply cannot. Like I have mentioned earlier grandma is the most caring individual that I know in my life. I remember seeing her getting up in the middle of the night to make sure that there is no mosquitoes sucking on us, she will hold this little oil lamp and walk from one person to the other, before going back to sleep. She walks us to school, holding an umbrella above us, so that we are protected from the sun and the rain, she carried all our school bags. Grandma was never late, the moment you walk out of school, you will see her squatting under one of the trees outside school waiting for us. You have a heart of gold Tok mak.

During the weekend, grandma will be up very early, she will go to our orchard and cut the vegetable, then she will bundle them for sales. Initially, I observed my siblings selling the veges, and I was too shy to tag along, however, no excuses, this is a chore that you learn to undertake, like it or not, shy or otherwise, but I know, it makes us appreciate the little thing that grandma was doing to make our living better.

The routine continues until my parents' house was ready, and then it was another adjustment for me yet again.