Do your Homework

My day will not be complete if I were to be deprived of news; this is how I keep myself in touch of what’s happening both in the country and the world. I don’t read the newspaper anymore except for the Saturday STAR. Oh, yeah I do read online news too, which sometime also can be misleading.

Anyways, what are more frustrating then not getting the accurate and on time news, is watching the newscaster reading the news (TV3, ASTRO Ria, channel 502). Sometimes you cannot help thinking, what were these people thinking of? They have no clues of what they were reading about, their pronunciations are bad, and their attire, so sad and, their faces were plastered with layers of make up. They have no originality to mention the least.

I can’t remember how many times I have called TV3 to correct them, especially on the countries that they were mentioning or they will attached wrong name to the wrong face. Well, like the norm of every where you call, you will be given the runaround before you get to the right person.

You understand, or may be you will excuse the newscaster when they mentioned certain situation and got the country mixed up example Austria and Australia, but what’s more amazing is that TV3 proudly flashed the byline in bright yellow, I mean bright yellow of the same mistake. Hello, is there anyone at all in that station checking your work before going on air? Wake up people, we are not dumb and we just don’t believe what was given to us anymore.

I don’t think so that I am the only audience who would have called them to correct such error, right? We are educated Malaysian and we want the best to be given to the public, but these people who own the station, how can I deduce, errors are meant to be, dumb and stupidity should be their motto of the day.

Letter for Jo Ee

Dear Jo Ee

I wrote you this letter because I want you to know that we care that, there will always be better days that, the sun will not stop shinning no matter how dark the storm will be. Jo Ee – you are loved!!!!!

The turbulence that you are going through now is nothing compared to the prayers that everyone is putting in for you. Parents are not easy people, and therefore, they are called parents, but never forget that they will always be there for you. They like to talk, oh yeah, (they always have mouth diarrhea) tell me something that I don’t know, they like to criticize --- *wink, wink* and they think that you have every reason to bow down to them. But, it’s ok la, just layan je. I have gone through worst memories of my life, but it does not make me weak, neither do I give up on everything – so, Jo Ee, you are better then them. Get up and get going ok.

You are such a gift, so young, such a sweetheart and full of life. Pull that curtain, open that window and breath in the fresh air, oh use your diaphragm ok, not your lungs, and adopt the Qi Gong believe, trust me you will see that there is heaven beyond hell.

I don’t have mountains of gold to offer you, but you know my tiny home will welcome you anytime, I have abundance of love to shower you, I may be shorter then you,
but I have bigger arms to hold you with warm hugs and security. I can make stupid jokes that actually make you laugh at me instead of the jokes, so Jo Ee come on over, let’s tango to the adventure beyond.

Take care, God bless you and I hope you will get well soon, with lots of love

Thank you

I can still remember the day that the phone call was received; I was busy working in the office. For a moment, I was puzzled as I try to put all the words together, and my agreement to the request. It is a big leap that I have decided to take, without consulting anyone but my own instinct.

There were days, that I wonder where you are? Are you happy, do you think of her sometimes or do you miss her, and do you have the mother instinct to feel whether she is happy or sad?

Thank you for the opportunity, thank you for allowing yourself to break free of her. I pray silently always that you are blessed now with the joy, which I am feeling with the gift that you have given to me. I want you to know that there has never been a day that goes by without me thanking God for knocking on my door, to deliver this wonder of love.

Should you ever dream and saw an angel smiling that is she
Should you ever dream and saw a pearl of a joy that is she
Should you ever dream and saw a bright sparkling diamond that is she
Should you ever dream and saw a twinkle of a star that is she
Should you ever dream and saw an ocean of happiness that is she
Should you ever dream and saw a jewel of love that is she

I don’t know if you will ever stumble on this blog of mine, I thank you from the depth of me. May God bless you now and forever.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You Are An Amazing Girl

Today, my baby is 19 years of age, she has grown up to be a very confident and smart young lady. She is a real sweetheart ................... ok, not all the time, but is the most gentle among the 3 angels. Her demands are not much, she is very simple and enjoys anything that is comfortable and home based. But when it comes to food, this gentle person can turn super nasty, she just is so in love with anything spelled F O O D.................. :)

Request for presents came way before the actual date, it ranges from jacket to shoes, to expansion for WOW, to watching movies and many others, not forgetting her favourite restaurant. So, I try my best to give her all what she wants, of course, with limitation here and there.

This month, she was involved in a trip to Singapore for some Food Exhibition thingy, since she is a Culinary arts student. It turned out that the exhibition was not to her expectation, however, she had fun with the little shopping time they were given in Singapore and all that was in JB. While, she was in Singapore, she SMS and seek permission to get a pair of new shoes, which she needed for her gym, and she got it, so two presents down, cuz before this, she got the jacket that she wanted so much, and it happened to be the last one left in the store at the Curve, well, ok, no big deal.

The little princess bought her a new track pants to compliment the new shoes (this is one of the requested present too btw). Her elder sister had earlier came home and gave her an early birthday gifts of her favourite cartoon character. On Sunday, April 27, 2008, the very day of her birthday, she decided that she does not want to go and eat at the restaurant of her choice, as it will be pack with people and she does not like crowds, ok fine, so, we will go on Monday. Big brother, who had posted a birthday wish for her on his blog, invited us for lunch in her honour on Sunday, so happy la, dapat belanja kan. We spent quality time with him, since we do not get to be with him a lot, as he is a busy married man, so abang, thank you for the belanja and also the time. Terima kasih daun keladi, kalau free belanja lah lagi.

Monday, we left the house at 1100hrs and went for the movies, as you know I am obsessed with the right parking space, so we dropped her first to go get the ticket, while me and little princess went round and round to look for parking. We made it to the movie on time, got one meat pie to share, and seated ourselves in the theater. The advert finished and on was the movie, suddenly we saw `for 18SX' only, and I looked at her, what? Little princess is 12 going 13, why did they sell you the ticket. Ponder...... then, she said, I think, we are in the wrong theater, not a movie person myself, I just keep quite and watch her getting up from the seat, not long she came back and confirmed that we were in the wrong theater. Like...............19...........being wiser...............err........... (sigh, sigh).

Watching `Lars and the real girl' was fun, for the first time, an English movies comes without subtitles, bravo TGI. We like that. But, towards the end I heard my gentle angel crying, and I was like, ok is this for real? So, buat apa lagi, tanya la. Of course, she cried, as the ending part was actually very touching.

After movie, it was lunch at Chili's, they changed their menu and there is lamb shank now. All the food served was very nice, though the service was not as good as before. From lunch, we went to Baskin Robbins, to fulfill her last request. It was an enjoyable time for the 3 of us, till I decided to stop by the gold shop. Ok, I need my time too.........

Anyways, Happy 19th Birthday Gentle Angel, you are a real sweetheart. I love you!!!!!

Growth and My Little Princess

Growth....... when it's found on any of your body parts become such a concern. I'm someone who has to go through three operations because of this discovery. Two breast lumps and one ovarian growth, good news, they were all benign. However, when my little princess one day told me that she has lumps on her neck, it became more then just a concern, it was alarming.

I have learn that trust like respect is to be earned and not given, therefore, when I put my trust in one doctor, no matter what the problems, to him I will go. However, the funny thing is that this doctor that I am so comfortable with is a cardio doctor from Damansara Specialist.

Took my little princess to him, and like I said, he is very detailed in his checks. He does not want to rule out anything, and you will leave him happy knowing that you are alright, not forgetting the follow ups that we will have.

All my girls are under his care, they love him. Dr Daud, thank you for your kindness and assistance beyond your call of duties.

My Little Princess was Not Well

My little princess has not been well for almost a week now, and I am worried. Took her to the A & E of Damansara Specialist on last Sunday. It was raining so so heavy when we arrived. Not many patients waiting, meaning we don't have to wait too long. Happy :)

We saw this particular doctor on call, and he was like....... ok what's up? I got irritated even by looking at his face, so it does not make the situation any better, when he finished checking my little princess (barely 5 minutes), and telling me that she's having the flu, fever, and cough. Ok, I already know that, I looked at him and asked him what about the pain that she is having in both ears and also her right eye. Reluctantly, he called the nurse to give him this equipment to check her ears and told me, nothings wrong, she has some wax on her left ear. Ok, again, what about her right eye? He just continue writing on his paper, without even looking at me and, calmly said, you know, when you have the flu, fever so the eyes also will be like that. Hemm, ok..... you fat ass liar, you lazy idiot, why are you here in the first place? I cannot say all that to his face right?, still angry, we walked out of his office with the prescription which among other included a 3 day antibiotic for the eyes, and she was given 2 days medical leave.

The fever was gone by Tuesday, but the swell on her right eyes was getting bigger, despite finishing the antibiotic. On Friday, the swelling on her eyes was so big that she could hardly open her eye properly, and she was also experiencing a lot of pain. She told me, to take her to her favourite clinic, Mediveron, cuz she likes Dr Vijay, who will normally make her understand what she's suffering from. First I said ok, however, in my heart I wanted to go to Damansara Specialist again and confront that same doctor. My prayers were answered, the same doctor was on call again, and he was shocked to see her eyes, immediately she was referred to the specialist, and the rest can be seen from the pictures here. It breaks my heart to see her in this condition.

We have one consolation though, the specialist was a marvelous and lovely lady. She is very pretty, diplomatic and caring, and we immediately bond with her. Thank you Dr. Rajalakshmi for your tender loving care.

Pictures of my little princess before and after surgery. She was moved from the day care to the normal ward as futher observation was required, due to her poor reaction to the anesthetic. My little princess turn hungry ghost after almost 20 hours without food.

You are precious.

Grandma had a heart of gold

Adjusting to changes when you move is not easy, especially so when you cannot tell anyone of how you feel, your sadness, frustration and above all confusion. Suddenly I found myself living with so many people under one roof, there were my aunties, my uncle, my grandparents and, my own siblings. It was tough, we learn to share everything, learn to take turns in using the shower, learn to be responsible, it was a moment of growing up too fast for me.

Solace to me was spending time at school, the longer I stay in school the better, I will find every excuse to be in school. However, being a prefect, active in sports, active in clubs etc give me the opportunity to be away from home. I remember leaving home very early in the morning and arriving back when the sun is already down. I was so active in school that I became the school hockey captain, and also played for the state, represent the school in traditional dancing, represent the school to state level in economic quizzes, I was also active in doing time at the old folks home. Anything, anything at all, just to be away from home.

Lunch and dinner time, are not one of the best memories for me. Looking back now, I know why I am always lazy to feed myself, because as a teenager then, we will be forced to have our food being hand fed by my aunties. You also learn to accept that you might get less fed if you are not a good girl that day. It was a moment, where I learn to be very cautious with everything that I do, mistakes means punishment. Grandma, I do understand her stressed, with too many of us running around the whole house 24/7. Being canned, or have your hair pulled and your ear pinched till they trickled with blood are all too common. How, then do you verge your anger? For me, I will kill grandma's adorable little fluffy chicks. Seeing the chicks dying give me the satisfaction of getting even, good thing, I was never caught red handed.

Urban to rural........ how do you sum such movement, you simply cannot. Like I have mentioned earlier grandma is the most caring individual that I know in my life. I remember seeing her getting up in the middle of the night to make sure that there is no mosquitoes sucking on us, she will hold this little oil lamp and walk from one person to the other, before going back to sleep. She walks us to school, holding an umbrella above us, so that we are protected from the sun and the rain, she carried all our school bags. Grandma was never late, the moment you walk out of school, you will see her squatting under one of the trees outside school waiting for us. You have a heart of gold Tok mak.

During the weekend, grandma will be up very early, she will go to our orchard and cut the vegetable, then she will bundle them for sales. Initially, I observed my siblings selling the veges, and I was too shy to tag along, however, no excuses, this is a chore that you learn to undertake, like it or not, shy or otherwise, but I know, it makes us appreciate the little thing that grandma was doing to make our living better.

The routine continues until my parents' house was ready, and then it was another adjustment for me yet again.

Birthdays and Fairy Tales

Talking about birthdays, I love birthdays, especially when the celebration goes to my kids. No matter what the situation, I will try my very best to give them the best of the day that they came into my life. Normal birthdays, are presents, cakes, together time and good dinners. So, when birthdays are mine, the same questions keep on coming. When is you birthday exactly ma......????

You may think, oh how absurd, that I don't even know when is my birthday. Reality sucks, I don't know when is my birthday. Boo Hoo, do you cry, or do you laugh?, well, I choose to laugh, because I am through with the later. I was born and raise in the most developed country in South East Asia, Singapore. Growing up and living in Singapore was one of the best moment in my life. Good things normally won't last long, so was my life in Singapore. We have to come back to Malaysia, my parents decided on that, and so the beginning of a lot of changes in my life. Singapore has always been fairy tales and good times, no worries, no tears, no hardship and all the nos. I remember we have a comfortable home, not big, neither was it too small, it was very close to the sea and, our house was facing the golf course then, I remember, yes I do, very clearly remember, how excited we all will be when Mr. Lee Kuan Yew Yu walk through the greens to start his hit of Golf. I remember, we all will be standing by the fence and, start waving frantically to him, ahhhh....... that man, changes he knows the meaning. How, I wish that my citizenship was never changed.

What can I say about the beginning of my life journey in Malaysia, my parents were busy building their very own home, It was very much bigger then the one that we have in Singapore, but it was never a warm place for me. Prior to that, we were living with my grandparents, my grandmother, how do I tell you about her? Many good things, she was such a strength but she is also a villain, very fierce, but I have never met anyone more more caring then my late grandma, whom we called Tok Mak (may you rest in peace and may your soul be blessed always). My late grandfather, whom we called Tok Bak was not much of a talker, a caring person and a great observer (may God bless you too Tok Bak). Life was not easy as compared to when I was living in Singapore, no more Christmas for me, no more birthday parties, it was a strict regime of discipline.

During my time in high school, we were categorized by our performance, and all the smart ones will be in one class, I remember I was in that class, it was Form 1 S (S for special). Students in this class were automatically given scholarship, why????? see because you have the brains..... hiks..... smile!!!!! However, to be registered for the scholarship, I will have to fill up a form with all my personal details and return same to the school. (Music roll....... to the sound of Jacques Brel ... ne me quitte pas :P). First time ever, I saw my birth certificate, it was an A4 size document, all the prints were in red and the personal details was hand written in black ink. Ok, to me this is so fancy, it's a grand piece of document before my Degrees and Maters of course. Anyways, I did not take much notice of it, gave to the school for verification and then took it home to be given to my father for safe keeping.

However, while, I was in class on that magical day, I decided to go through the cert and my inquisitive mind starts questioning. Funny, my registered birth date was in May, ok, ok, so I was born in May, you think? Well, wait a minute, I had my BCG injection in the first week of March, hemmm........ how? I got my injection even before I see the world. Ok, go on read some more, then I notice that the signature of the registrar was on the second week of March. Wow...... confused, confused. I did not asked my parents straight away on this matter, till I was in Form 3, don't know why the delays, guess I was going through more confusing era of growing up then.

I was told by my parents, both of them that I was given away as a child..... hemm, wait a minute, then my father felt guilty and decided to take me back, oh ok, that explains, but when was I born? The answer, sometime in March, and the registrar must have made a mistake with the registered birth date. Ok la, understood....... but when exactly? You guess right, no one knows...................... Hooray, I'm a happy confused child!!!!! Got it?

So birthdays to me are just fairy tales. I love you Abah and Emak, endless.

Phobia and Hunger

My husband always thought that I am absurd when it comes to parking, we had numerous fights because of this. The truth is I have phobia at parking areas, be it covered, open or whatever, I have had my share of traumas to come to this stage. Whenever, I'm driving, I will go round and round the same place, always closest to the entrance, till I can get a parking. Finally, arriving at OU, my phobic attitude was in full swing, so round and round we go; my little princess knowing me too well, just sit in mute. Uhuuu....... nice parking just a step from the 3rd floor entrance, next to the privilege parking. Smile..... more smile....... happy!!!!!


Parking is not the only problems that I become obsessed with, same goes when I am hungry, my hands will start to shiver, my head becomes lighter, at times I feel that I am floating, my concentration becomes zero, and I will enter the closest halal restaurant at reach. Today was no different, the first restaurant that my eyes could read was Seri Melaka, believe it or not I could not even drag myself to go inside, so we just went plop on the 1st table available (actually all the tables were available), because this is not one of the best restaurant. It was like years before the waiter approached us, I swear, I could not see anything on the menu, I was ordering with a remote control, meaning from past memory of this horrible place. While, we were eating, little princess, being the smart one said...... mama, I thought you don't like to eat here, I was like, yes, actually I don't like, however, just eat ok...... then, she goes again, but mama, the sotong tasted like rubber, me....ok don't eat that, just finish your veges and let's go. At this point of time, I notice that we are about the only customer there. swear.... swear....

OU is like paradise to her, we walk, we walk and we walk some more, looking, smelling, inhaling and still no bargains. She already knows what she wanted to get for her sister, but what we found was above her budget. Off we walk some more, from the new wing to the old wing and, finally we got what she wanted to buy, but as usual mama kena tambahkan. Along the way, we decided to stop for doughnuts at Big Apple, and stop here and there, happy looking and testing and trying things/dresses in shops that we like.

There was this stop that we did at a new girlie thingy shop, and she saw a unique necklace with a Rubik cube pendant, she was so in love with the piece, only that it cost RM49.90 and I have no clue when she is gonna use it, so the answer was NO. A distance silent, as she go into deep thoughts, then she picked the Rubik cube itself and whisper to me..... this one can? only RM19.90. I shake my head twice, meaning No again.


We go on walking, and I told her that my feet's killing me, but deep in my heart I want to give her the alone time that she so much wanted with me, so I found a place and sit there while waiting for her to satisfy her eyes.

On our way back from the old wing to the new wing, stomach was singing again, this time, it was soft melody, not the hard rock music, therefore, no panicking here for food. We sit at Charms, taking time to read the menu, enjoy the magazines and do girlie talks while eating.

A store selling Cupido caught my eyes later, and I just told her that, I wanted that for my birthday. The thoughtful little princess, stop and check if that character was in syn with my horoscope, took some pictures via her mobile and calculate the cost ..... he he he.


I have to remind her that she has school tomorrow, as well I can't walk anymore, it's been almost 5 hours at OU and I still don't like the place, so marching we go to the parking, found the car and home sweet home.

Thank you baby for your time, I love you.

Massage

Today, as usual, I sit alone and ponder. The kids are at work, university, college and school. The husband is a million miles away from me (oh wait a minute, he is away working ok :) ). Evey time I am in this situation, I realized that the house is too big, the bed is too large and the sound is so silence, so my train of mind will go rambling.

Yesterday, as my youngest girl was not well, she was given the MC, and as her 2nd sister's birthday is approaching, we decided to have our alone time and go get the present. The day started by us getting up at around 1030 hours, then I remember that I have my massage appointment with Lan (the blind man) and, it was suppose to be at 1100 hours. Damn, I hate to be late, and I don't like to take people for granted, and it will take at least 20 minutes to drive there and more if I were to be caught in the lunch hour jam. I drove as fast as I could, along the way, calling Lan from my cell, because I know I will not be able to make it on time. Malaysian drivers are one of the best in the world, when you show them your ignition to cut lane, the more they will speed. ........ You Cows!!!!!!!

Arrived at the massage place an hour late, Lan was waiting, so we got started, as my little princess watch with boredom. Finally, she climbed on the other bed next to mine, and yes, you guess right, sleep again. Lan was telling me that I have lost weight, and being the direct forward me, I simply asked, how do you know, you can't see me right????....... like durr..... how BODOH can that be right???!!!!!! Lan....., oh kita orang buta, boleh nampak dengan tangan, sorry Lan, that's not how my question was meant to be. I was having pain on my left shoulder (excuse, excuse ......... the truth is I just love being massage), no seriously, I was having pain on my left shoulder, and went to Damansara Specialist, went for some kind of weird physio, but nothings change. Lan's magic touch was the answer, so to Lan, I will always go.

After 1 1/2 hours of massage, you can see a very happy and satisfied me. The smile was from ear to ear, the shoulder a lot more lighter and the stomach was calling for attention. So, off to our next destination, the place that I don't like most, but it has become the kids playground for shopping .............................. OU.