A Message

A message to you my dear siblings, family and children.

Take off your mask and be truthful for 

Allah knows what's in your heart.

I'm no longer impress.

Someday

Hey there blog

I have not been here a fair bit. No worries, I’m still around. Been on a roller-coaster of my medical situation, of which I don’t think will stop rumbling anytime soon. But…… I’m good.

Live and let live till your time is up.

Wake Up

Straighten yourself, stand in front of the mirror and look hard at the reflection in the mirror. Are you not thankful of what you are today? Are you that miserable? Have you got no focus in your life?  Please buckle up before it is too late, before I decided that I should not let your bullying kill me.  Please do not wait for the day when I confronted you with "Enough is Enough."

Be thankful for every day that I love you, for every moment that I care for you, for every seconds that I still think of you.  Go through your mental list for the day and be grateful.  You have to learn about being gratitude, as only gratitude will help you go through the rough times.

Wake up and focus on thankfulness.

The Best Way To Heal

I still don't believe all the things that I have seen, I still don't believe from all of them, you could be the one who breaks my heart the most.  I still don't believe that from an angel you could be a devil.  I still don't believe all the things that you are talking and saying about me.  I still don't believe that you can be such a liar, a manipulator, etc.  I thought I raised you well, I thought I have given you all the bad examples to stay clear from, I thought I could trust you.  I was blinded by your innocent.

You broke my heart, I want you to know that and I will take this to my grave.

Honey, you were right when you told me that "no good deed goes unpunished."

A Turkish Wedding

We were invited to a Turkish wedding in late June this year.  It was a very funky wedding, very noisy, and loads of people.  The food was all Turkish and nothing that I liked much, but the mother was a very good host. The wedding was not something that the parents of bride condone, therefore only the mother was there to give support to her daughter.  It was sad, indeed very sad when your own daughter could not see what you as a mother could see in her choice of man.  

The wedding was in my opinion not conforming to our belief, I do not wish for any of my daughters to have a wedding like this.

I wish both the groom and the bride many happy years ahead.

Please Let Us Be Together

I’m at the point of my sickness that I don’t understand anymore what’s going on. Fever comes and goes almost every day of the week. This week I had so much of stomach attack; it could be so painful that caused breathing to be tough.

This morning as I lay in bed, too tired to do anything, the feeling of nausea was overcoming the reality of being alive. My fever is still not subsiding; add to that, the reflux that’s beyond my control and the burping of too much air and a continuous hiccup too.

Hubby came and served me breakfast in bed, I have no desire at all to eat, but thinking of the effort that he had put, I surrender. I don’t remember how long I took to finish the food. I know it was very long. He kept coming to check on me, and as he kissed me a zillion times, and hold my hands in his, I could only say a sincere prayer in my heart.

“Dear Almighty Allah, you have brought us together here in this world, please let us be together in your heaven.”............. Amin.

Dear Daughter

Dear Daughter

I may not be the best mom in the world, I may not be the mom that you dream of, I may not be the mom friend that you had wished for, but I am your mom and I swear that no one can love you more than I do.  If at times I seem to you to be too domineering, too controlling and too close for comfort, that can only mean I love you with every bit of me.

Dear Daughter

I want you to know that you should never ever let loneliness or insecurity dictate whom you love. That won't be real or satisfying. It will just be a moment of you playing with the insecurity of yourself.  It is like filling the emptiness of your life, because you think you are lonely. Find a man from a place of security and confidence so that you don't feel you need him to "complete" you, so that you can still be independent, so that you can still be happy as you.

Because I will always love you - mama

Ayah Dan Ibu

You Are On Your Own

You can do everything you can as a parent, you can communicate with them, you can be kind, you can be merciful, you can give them good education, you can be sincere and you can make ‘doa’ to Allah. However, that does not guarantee that your child when they are no longer a child, when they are already adults will commit themselves to your guidance. You don’t have that in your hands as parents. Guidance is in the hands of the Almighty Allah.

You can do everything you can, and you can still have messed up kids, who will do some pretty bad stuff and they did. Just because as parents you put in all the efforts, this does not mean that guidance is guaranteed for our kids.

When I’m dead and gone you will be on your own, what will you be then?

You should have ‘takwa' in Allah, I have no authority over you before Allah. You are on your own when it comes to guidance.

Believe

"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours." - Henry David Thoreau

Civet Coffee

Was desperate for a cup of coffee tonight. 
Realized that we don't have any more coffee. 
Remembered a close friend got me the Civet coffee before her retirement at UN OOSA.
Put kettle to the boil.
Took the coffee out, read the description on box.
Change my mind on coffee for tonight.

Destined

Believe in your destiny and put your full trust in Almighty Allah.

Thank You For Your Advise

They said "if you love someone, you should trust them", and I said "if you love someone, you should not lie to them."

Love with trust and without honesty is a destination to doom.

Thank you for your advise.

If You Don't Know.................

Son...

Dear Son............. One day if you are reading this, just know that no matter what you did to me, you are still my son.  I can only wish you all the best in this world and after.

Seri Puteri Symphonic Winds

They came for some competition here, and took the opportunity to perform at the United Nations.  It was a pretty hot day for the 61 students not including the accompanying parents, most of them experiencing their first time ever fasting for 18 hours too.  They did gave a good performance despite the challenging weather.  Proud to see the determination of the youngsters.

Way to Go!!!!!!!! 

I Should Not Be Surprised

Dried anchovies among the most difficult to be found here, therefore, anytime anyone asked me what do I want from back home, it will always be dried anchovies. This is because this is one of my hubby’s favorite things.

The last bag of dried anchovies I got actually brought me to tears, literally. It was the worse that I have ever received, and to think that this was sent my one of my own, it breaks my heart, but Alhamdulillah.

The dried anchovies were so bad in quality, they were dark, very hard, and over salty. When you cooked them with lentil or used them as part of your veggie stir-fried, the dish will changed to a dark color. My thought was to feed them to the birds, but then I also need them, so what I did was to dry blend them and used them in very little amount each time, just to add taste but to be very careful that the amount does not change the color of the dish.

“I should not be surprised” and learn to expect the unexpected.

Pusingkan La.

Ya Allah, Kau pulangkan la

Ya Allah Kau pusingkan la

Ya Allah terlalu sombongnya dia

Ya Allah Kau sedarkan la

Ya Allah Kau getarkan la

Ya Allah pada mu jua aku memohon

Ya Allah, tiada dapat lagi aku menangung kesedihan ini

Ya Allah, sampainya hati dia, terlalu, terlalu

Ya Allah, di bulan yang mulai ini, Kau pusingkan la

Amin YRA

Resting Place

I took the opportunity to visit my friend's resting place on the first day of Ramadhan.  

 More than two years on.

 My BFF reciting the prayers

 Deep in thought, wondering how tall and deep this cherry tree will go

 Cleaning the resting place of her mom, with her only daughter

 A love remembered

Beautiful............... resting in peace

Dinner At Hajar

We had a get together before the departure of two good friends for good from here.

 The simple table setting

  The food served

 Ladies at the table, ok and two young men

 Husbands sitting on the floor

 In Solat after dinner, Alhamdulillah

A torn among the roses

 The young ladies enjoying the evening son

One for the group, we will miss you..............

Life Is Too Short - Batik Sarong

Yes, we do really do crazy things here.  The time has come to bid farewell to my best of friends and we don't know when our path will cross again.  She has been a real support in my time of need, someone that I could trust to pour my heart to.  It will be sad but we both know that everything happened for a reason.  Therefore, to add to another day of my craziness, I organized a lady day out but each one of us has to be in Batik Sarong.  It was a lovely do, we were happy despite the rain and cold wind.

I will miss you so so much.

 My very pretty angel in her Batik sarong with a 'kebaya' top.  Please ignore the missing button :P

 Yours truly with my Batik do too but I have no proper top, so I decided to go with whatever matches

 Pretty ladies in Batik sarong at the train terminal

 Proud in Batik sarong in the middle of the city, we got the look but they were good ones :)

Even the youngest of us got one for herself

Life Is Too Short - Protea

I have always love cottage businesses, it somehow gave me the personal touch to everything that I like.  It is kind of pure and honest.  Had the opportunity to visit one such business place here and love every corner of this place.

The vintage living area

I don't know what this machine is for, but it reminded me of my dad's old rubber roller machine.

This of course reminded me of mom's sewing machine

The whole range of hand-made pottery........ beautiful

The dining area, so vintage so wooden, so peaceful.  I love it so much.

The fireplace

The happy me.................