Mom's Tears

One afternoon I arrived at mom’s place unannounced, as usual I caught both my parents sitting at the doorsteps of the kitchen, mom in her sarong tied tightly above her chest, while dad was in his favorite Hawaiian design short. Only this time, they were looking very somber.

After the salutations and kisses, dad excused himself, to catch on his nap; mom and I were silent for a moment. I just could not bring out any conversation, as mom’s concentration was nowhere nearby. Suddenly she asked me, ‘have you heard what happened?’ I was caught off guard and had no clue whatsoever she was referring to, so I just said, no.

She sat in front of me, and with quivering lips started to tell me what had happened to her, she was chased out of my brother’s house, she lament, and as she go on with the story, tears were rolling down her cheeks, while her voice was chocked. I could not comment, as much as I wanted to eat what was available in the pot, my appetite just died.

Mom is mom, whatever happens she will tell the whole world, and I am so afraid to make any comments, all I said over and over again to her was, the Lord knows best, you just pray and have patience. The conversation went on for a long time; I remember dad was already calling for mom to say her prayers, meaning he was already awakened from his nap.

That day my perception of my brother which was already charred, went black, I lost every respect that I have, the feelings that I have towards him was just hollow. It was too much for me to see mom’s tears again.

I regret making that trip back, I wish I did not know anything that had taken place, I wish I did not know how much mom was hurting, I wish dad would speak what’s in his heart, I just keep on wishing.

However, I am glad today that mom’s tears of hurt are no longer there, but mom is still crying the tears of a mother not able to accept the fragility of a cancer stricken son.

May you be strong mom, for I know I can only pray while I can’t change time and the situation.