Dare You Be Rude To Me.....

It can be very difficult when you try hard to keep cool and composed, when you constantly encounter obnoxiously rude people. Initially, I gave in to all this rudeness, as I do not want to create problems with strangers; however, being me, rudeness is something that I totally cannot condone.

I fight back now, and I am not going to stop, no one is going to trash on me, my kids and hubby.

Sometime ago, I was groceries shopping alone, at the counter the person behind me simply piled up all his groceries next to mine without putting the counter divider. The cashier was tagging in the prices faster than a lightning bolt, and he conveniently tagged the other groceries together with mine. I pointed out to him that part of the groceries were not mine, he rolled his eyes at me, while the other person apologized, and we became a spectator of curiosity at the counter.

Hell just opened its door instantly and I lashed out at him, the fucking word is always my instant sword, so I looked at him, and just blurted out, ‘who the fuck do you think you are, I am paying, and not begging here, why are you rolling your eyes at me like an idiot’, anyways, he doesn’t understand anything that I said except for the ‘F’ word, but he sure became scared and was suddenly polite.

The second time, I had to lash out was at the WU counter. There were times that I have to transfer dough urgently, so WU is the fastest. However, on this windy wet morning, the cashier was less than a human in my eyes. When I said I wanted to do the transfer, in a raise voice, she said `I need an ID’, I was surprised as I was never asked for one before. Obviously, I asked `oh why do you need and ID?’, ahh like a real bitch filth started oozing out from her mouth, and I was stunned.

Of course, without much thought I instantly lashed back, and when I do something either good or bad, I make sure that I do it better, by the end of the session, she was literally kissing my ass, she was so sorry that she began telling me her life story, her horrible days and on and on…………. Like I care, go to hell you whore.

Yesterday, we decided to go out for lunch while buying some meat from the market. The restaurant we frequent was not so packed, so we found a seat, and start ordering, the waitress who took the order must be PMS… sing. When hubby said that my little angel would like a sandwich, her reaction was, `oh not enough order, you have to sit outside’, hello, we have two more orders, and guess what, yes she rolled her eyes, my anger just rose, and I lashed out.

She moved away, hubby spoke to the owner, and a waiter came to attend to us next, actually the owner had our order already, I only wanted a black tea with mint to be added, either he was a real asshole or simply testing his luck with me, yes, you guess right, he rolled his eyes at me, instead of asking nicely.

Like a professional politician, I gave him the best speech of his life, not forgetting all the `F’ words, yes I don’t give a damn already whose watching or listening, but `hey, come on mate make my day’.

A third waiter came, super nice, super sweet; we ate our lunch with pride on our shoulders. By the way the earlier waitress and waiter never even dared come near to the area we were seated at all.

I walked out happy, while realizing that it is really not worth your effort being cool and polite in this Hitler’s country.

My Pack Mule

Congratulations, you have been selected for the position of a Pack Mule, your job specifications are as follows:

Go play fetch, when I am busy entertaining

When in the restaurant, just hold the menu, but you are not allowed to order

When sitting around friends, do not open your mouth because I am in control

Sit like a mule with your head in between your knees

Smile when spoken to, but pretend you don’t hear anything, as I don’t want you to embarrass me when you talk

You clean, you wash, and you drive when instructed

Please don’t comb your hair, because your electrifying hair-do, is picture perfect of a Pack Mule

You shall report for duty the day you say I do, all the best.

Don't Waste Your Time

If you think I am lamenting about it, no I am not
If you think I am counting the hours, no I am not
If you think I am wondering, and pondering, no I am not
If you think I am thinking about it, no I am not
So don’t waste your time

If you think I care, I no longer do
If you think I miss, I no longer do
If you think I want, I no longer do
If you think I wish, I do longer do
So don’t waste your time

What you spit, now you lick
What you hate, now you love
What you loath, now you praise
What you exhale, now you inhale
So I no longer waste my time

I Dreamed A Dream

To Alia, don't be afraid.

Tofu Stomach

Out of nowhere my little angel requested that I cook `lodeh’ as one of the dishes for dinner tonight, how can I say no to this request. However, I told her that she will have to drop by at the Asia shop after school to get the tofu and the bean curd stick (perut tofu). She agreed.

After school she called to inform me that she was at the Asia shop, she got the tofu, but could not find the bean curd stick. She wanted to ask the shop assistant if they carry this product, which I was sure they have. She said what do you call `perut tofu’ in English, I was so blur then and I could not put a name to that question, after waiting a while she said can I just ask him if they have tofu stomach, her innocence was so hilarious, that I burst out laughing, and told her it was alright if she could not find it.

The `lodeh’ was served, dinner was done, desert finished, yet in my mind I was still wondering what could `perut tofu’ be in English. It is while I was in the shower when I figured out that `perut tofu’ is actually bean curd stick.

So much for a name ……………… huh!!!!

An Angel Sigh

She walked into the room less elated than her normal home coming after school. Her bubbly story line became a bit of coxing, thus turning into questions and answers. I can see that she was holding back a huge sadness in her little heart.

She finally blurted it out that, she has done her best, she even thought that the last Math assessment was much easier than the one before, `I don’t fail Ma, but I was expecting a much higher score’, the sadness in her voice was so hollow. I could only mumble that it was alright, you have tried your best; we will leave the rest to the Lord.

There was something more upsetting to her than just the unexpected score; it was the remarks that were put in RED on her paper by the tutor, and his attitude towards her. I have been the type of mother that will not take her children’s side easily, this is because I don’t want them to come back and start twiddling me around their little fingers.

We discussed, I diplomatically probe and probe, till I am satisfied that she was filling me up with the truth of the situation, therefore, I decided to write on the remarks that was made by the Math tutor, demanding for an explanation for such remarks.

I saw my little angel sigh a sign of relief that her mother is on her side, which I will always be.

Happiness Is..................

We did not go out today, despite the fine weather, this is because I was not feeling too well. My body was weak with fever, and I am just not in the mood for anything.

However, I have to make the cake as I have promised hubby for his bday, so around 1700 hours, I marched to the kitchen, and started my chores, once done with the cake, I got dinner ready, something very simple, it was just fish fillet, fish cutlet and garlic bread. As usual, we stay a little longer at the dinner table for quality time.

After my little angel finished her homework, we decided to watch a movie; I suggested `Marley and Me’. It was one hell of a movie; we were so touched by the simple message and the story line, and I thank the Lord for the blessing in our life.

This one goes to you my dear, have a wonderful birthday, it is your day, and you are the king for the day ONLY ok.

Happiness Is……….. .

The world is giving you the run around
it leaves you feeling low and let down
But happiness is wherever you find it

I'm not waiting for a friend beside me
or for the Lord above to guide me
My happiness is wherever I find it
and I wanna find it with you.

Have you ever felt so out of place
that the smile on you face
was to keep from crying?
I don't know how we get so out of touch
but I don't want much
just to find out what happiness is.

While everybody else is winning
you're stuck waiting for your new beginning
but happiness is wherever you find it.

You may be full of life's frustrations
but I'm up for negotiations
my happiness is wherever I find it
and I wanna find it with you.

Have you ever felt so out of place
that the smiles on you face
was to keep from crying?
I don't know how we get so out of touch
but I don't want much
just to find out what happiness is.

If you've got your lucky break and broke it
I guess you've got your options open
but happiness is wherever you find it, yeah,
and I wanna find it with you

Have you ever felt so out of place
that the smile on you face
was to keep from crying?
I don't know how we get so out of touch
but I don't want much
just to keep on trying

People say a prayer every day
that they'll end up with more than their next-door neighbor.
I'm not buying all their ego trips but I'll get my kicks
when I find out what happiness is

Boat Ride

In anticipation of hubby’s bday on Monday, we decided to go for a boat ride on the river. It was such a beautiful day, the sun was up, the wind was blowing cool, balloons were flying in the sky, ducks quacking in pairs, and people just lazing around to get their tan. Hubby has been wanting to go for a boat ride for a long time, and I am happy that we did it.

Malam Ku Bermimpi

Only you will know what I mean :)

Botox Battering

So you think you are pretty, so you think you have the super power, so you think you are very convincing, so you think you can conquer them all, go ahead and be my guest.

Don’t you know that I am passed being intimidated by you, don’t you know that I am passed being bad mouthed by you, don’t you think that I am laughing at you more than you are wanting the world to laugh at me, go ahead and be my guest if you don’t believe so.

When I look at your picture, I cannot help but wonder how much more Botox battering can your face take, how much more pump up can your lips take, how much more changes can your hair take, by the way you are still fat and yeah you are ………………… ugly too!!!!!

You are so cunning that it shows on your face, your laugh is so fake, your talks are so stupid and your fashion statement, boy…………………. The Africans sure do a better job.

Anyways, this one goes to you, you can make them both lick from your hands, you can take my precious from me, but I will have the last laugh.

Oh have you told them yet that you cheated on their father? *smile*

Fish Cutlet

The finished Product "yummee"

Fully coated with bread crumbs

The rounded dough

It was fish cutlet for dinner yesterday, and it was my first try, but the end result was simply delicious. As usual, I do not have any particular measurements, as I do believe that you can never go wrong with trying any recipe if you are creative enough.

Here you go, if you dare try:

Ingredients:

1 large blue mackerel (boil with a bit of salt, debone and mash), 4 large potatoes (boil and mash), cumin powder, coriander powder, chili powder, garam masala, garlic powder, 1 large onion (chopped), parsley leaves (chopped), 2 eggs, bread crumbs, oil for deep frying, salt and pepper to taste.

Methods:

In a large bowl mix the mashed potatoes, fish, onion, parsley, all spices, salt and pepper. Then divide the mixture into small round dough, you might want to press the middle of the dough for easy frying. Beat the eggs and dip the rounded dough in the eggs and in another bowl, roll them on the bread crumbs, make sure that all sides are covered. Once done, leave the fish cutlet to stand in the refrigerator for at least 20 minutes before frying. This is to allow the bread crumbs to really stick to the fish cutlet.

My Daughter Has A Name

My daughter has a name, how sad can it be that as smart as you are, you can’t even pronounce a simple 4 letter name. She indeed has a beautiful Arabic name if your rigid mind could not decipher, which in our own language (do you actually have a language) means ‘My Hope’.

You know you are not young, neither are you good looking and truly you smell bad, but what could complete this portfolio is your foul mouth, and filthy attitude. My daughter has a name, I gave her that name with hope, and don’t you dare called her ‘malaun’ again. God knows what that word means, but don’t you dare ok.

Oh, by the way, I heard you have a bastard for a son, don’t get me wrong, as the poor boy is pure, he did not do any mistakes but you, so I was just wondering what do you name him? Can it be BASTARD? I would be surprised if you don’t name him so, because you are so good at naming other people’s child except yours right?

Anyways, please be reminded that my daughter has a name.

Tell Me, Are You Afraid of Death?

You asked me once if I believe in God, I was surprised, very surprised, as you had attended the religious school for more years than anyone of us. I told you, yes I am a strong believer in God, and you laugh at me, you start asking me to describe God.

Thinking about this now, I wonder if you ever feel any guilt in confusing my mind and emotions at a tender age. You asked me to imagine the probability of none believing what was taught by the religious teachers to me. You pointed out that I would be stupid to believe that there will even be a doomsday.

I must admit that I was nearly taken by what you told me, I nearly wanted to believe that you were right after all, I keep thinking about our discussion over and over again, each time I closed my eyes, each time I walked the road to and from school, my mind was circling to what you have said. But, Alhamdulillah, I was never misguided, and I will always kneel in praise to Him.

Everyone is praying for you now, though your pride is still telling you not to bow down, I hope one day you will realize that we all will have to surrender to Him, no matter who you are, or who you think you are.

Are you still in denial? Do you think that fate can overcome faith? You should consider yourself lucky, in fact you are lucky all your life, but do remember luck do runs dry someday.

Tell me, are you afraid of death?

Stop The Prosecution

The Buddha F, among all the theories in the world, it is the
most intricate and extraordinary science.

In order to explore this domain, humankind must fundamentally change its conventional thinking. Otherwise, the truth of the universe will forever remain a mystery to humankind, and everyday people will forever crawl within the boundary delimited by their own ignorance."

-- Master Li Hongzhi, from "Lunyu,"

The Failed Janitor

I had just agreed to take up another post overseas when the telephone call came, it was indeed something unexpected, but the urgency of the request from someone that I love dearly could not just be responded negatively.

Having only a week more to go before my departure, I welcomed the boy into our home, the decision was not an easy one, my kids were devastated with my decision, but how could I break a heart that was hoping, I cannot. I was told that nobody cares about him anymore; no one wants to take him in, as he had gone out of control, he was mixing around with boys doing drugs, and he was also smoking, besides many other unfortunate habits that he had picked up in his growing age.

I took the time to take him around in looking for a job, meaning spending less time with my kids, however, with his qualification there was nothing much that can be thrown on his plate, but he was not interested to be just a helper, he wanted to be the BOSS!!! With very little time left, his refusal to go and work, I suggested that he continue with his studies.

On the night of my departure, I kept reminding him to study hard, be good and try to drop smoking. His promised was never convincing to me, as his body language was more than happy to see me leaving the house. With a heavy heart, I prayed to the Lord to keep my kids safe, as well as him.

I guess a leopard can never change its spots, he had the least of respect for any of my kids, while my daughters had sacrificed their room for him and moved to my room, he was a real nuisance to them, he was knocking away on the keyboard of the computer in my room, chatting away till the wee hours of morning, therefore making it very difficult for the girls to have proper sleep. He treated the house like a hotel, coming and leaving like nobody’s business, he expected to be served his meals, his clothes to be washed, my poor daughters were like maids to him, he brought friends home, while knowing that I am very concerned about my daughters at all times.

The college informed me that his attendance was very poor; he was dressing up like a junky, wearing thick silver chain, loud statement Ts, hanging around with the worst of the lots and so on. At all time I can’t even talk about his behavior to anyone, as I was expected to do miracle with this poison.

He even complaint that he could not go to college because he does not have a transport, while I had already assigned a cab to be at his disposal. His lies were welcomed music to everyone.

After discovering boxes of condoms in his drawer, I was left with no choice but to send him back to where he belongs. From then on, I became the villain, this janitor had failed in cleaning yet another toilet, you know I don’t care, talk as much as you like, lie as much as you can. Alhamdulillah, I am free of you, and good luck that’s all that I can say.

Do I regret my decision in taking you in, no, not at all.

Beaten

Growing up in a big family was never an easy experience, I lost track of faces and characters, I got confused by the brutality of situation, I shudder from the constant abuse witnessed, and I became a total emotional rag.

The responsibilities were free will; my parents have no control of us until after the building of our house was completed. There are still a lot of puzzles that I could not put together; questions I hope someday will be answered.

I witnessed beatings that still sent shivers to my spine, I remember seeing how her skin changed color from very red, to blue and black, traces of blood was also seen, she could hardly walk properly, as the instrument used for the beating was a very thick plank of wood, she dragged herself, limping to carry on the days. I don’t understand why no one could say nothing, or even stopped the abusive act, or even come to protect her.

There were days that I still dream of the poor sight of that girl, she was not even allowed to cry, he would gag her mouth to shut up, it was a horrifying memory for me, I sometimes wish that the ground would just open and swallow her, so that she will not suffer from the continuous beatings anymore.

Weird as it may sound, he was not even living in the same house, but he had so much power over everyone that we grew to tiptoe around when he was home I just feared him.

Then, I remember he would not come home for a long time, however, when he returns, his beating continues, he was just ferocious.

How heartless can you be?

Mom's Tears

One afternoon I arrived at mom’s place unannounced, as usual I caught both my parents sitting at the doorsteps of the kitchen, mom in her sarong tied tightly above her chest, while dad was in his favorite Hawaiian design short. Only this time, they were looking very somber.

After the salutations and kisses, dad excused himself, to catch on his nap; mom and I were silent for a moment. I just could not bring out any conversation, as mom’s concentration was nowhere nearby. Suddenly she asked me, ‘have you heard what happened?’ I was caught off guard and had no clue whatsoever she was referring to, so I just said, no.

She sat in front of me, and with quivering lips started to tell me what had happened to her, she was chased out of my brother’s house, she lament, and as she go on with the story, tears were rolling down her cheeks, while her voice was chocked. I could not comment, as much as I wanted to eat what was available in the pot, my appetite just died.

Mom is mom, whatever happens she will tell the whole world, and I am so afraid to make any comments, all I said over and over again to her was, the Lord knows best, you just pray and have patience. The conversation went on for a long time; I remember dad was already calling for mom to say her prayers, meaning he was already awakened from his nap.

That day my perception of my brother which was already charred, went black, I lost every respect that I have, the feelings that I have towards him was just hollow. It was too much for me to see mom’s tears again.

I regret making that trip back, I wish I did not know anything that had taken place, I wish I did not know how much mom was hurting, I wish dad would speak what’s in his heart, I just keep on wishing.

However, I am glad today that mom’s tears of hurt are no longer there, but mom is still crying the tears of a mother not able to accept the fragility of a cancer stricken son.

May you be strong mom, for I know I can only pray while I can’t change time and the situation.

Waiting................

Some nights I will catch mom waking up and standing while staring out from the glass windows. Noticing how forlorn her looks were, I will asked her whom was she waiting for, she will just simply answer that the cats were making too much noise, and go back to bed.

However, I know mom was waiting for someone to come back, I can only imagine what went through her mind as she closed her eyes in anticipation of the arrivals. The next morning she will get up very early, and repeat the night ritual before she performs her `subuh’ prayers.

As the daylight starts to break, mom would have finished all her chores, and you will see her waiting by the doorsteps in the kitchen, talking to us but yet you can see her eyes every once a while looking at the gate, hoping that the familiar sight of the one she was waiting for driving through.

I hate to see mom like this, she will wait tirelessly if she knows that any of her kids are coming home, she will cook extra food, clean the house, just do anything to keep herself busy from just merely counting the hours before the arrival.

Having witnessed the painful wait that mom never get bored of, I have for a long time decided not to tell her anymore if I was coming home, it breaks my heart to see her preparing for the welcome, and then to have all her anticipation crash when the promise of returning home goes unfulfilled. The prepared food gone to waste, and the sleepless night wait just for nothing.

It has been a long time now since I return to mom’s house; I wonder if mom still waits anxiously for the return of her children, I hope not because mom has more urgent matters on her mind now.

May the Lord bless mom with happy news only, and take away all the miseries from her heart.

Steam Fruit Cakes

Mom has this old excise book with brown cover that she apparently wrote down all her favorite recipes, it was written in `Jawi’ though, so only mom can understand what was written. She must have kept the book for so long, that even the writing was beginning to smudge, obviously from being referred to while she was baking.

She is an expert at doing many types of cookies and cakes, but I remember for sure no one can beat her at making Steam Fruit Cakes. I have watched her making this cakes so many times, I do remember some of the methods and ingredients, and the long hours to steam the cake.

During the Eid celebration or wedding seasons, mom takes orders in making these cakes. I will help her out with beating the butter and sugar, as we did not have the cake mixer then. I watched closely how she will take all the dried fruits and toss then in flour, this way the cake will be lighter, she claimed.

She will stand by the stove to melt and brown the sugar to be used for the cake; meanwhile, she will be chatting away with me about that and this, and this and that. At this age I have already concluded that mom likes to talk and she can be very nosy, she seemed to know everything that was going on in the area.

Once the cakes were put in the steamer, mom will excuse herself at times to take a nap, or to go out and run some other errands, so I will take over the task of watching over the steamer, making sure that there will be enough water to run the 4 to 5 hours steaming time.

At times, I too will fall asleep out of boredom, while juggling myself from the TV to the kitchen. I will be terrified when I discover the familiar burning smell, it will make mom mad for sure, but Alhamdulillah, this did not happen too often.

I wonder where that recipe book is, I wish I would have appreciated the value of the information on that book a long time ago, and would have asked her to give it to me, which will now be useful for my own Chef Diva. But as the norm, you wish for something that is nearly impossible when you realize that you will never get it (do I make sense?).

Mom no longer bakes, you can see signs of the long hours of standing on her legs, both her knees are getting weaker, she even have to sit down while doing her prayers.

Mom’s Steam Fruit Cakes which was so proudly adored by many family before will only be another chapter of my life with her.

Coconut Oil

There were days, every morning when I wake up my little angel to get ready for school, I will lay awake in bed for a minute longer, while my mind will roll back to moments like these when I will be awoken very early in the morning ………………….. very early was like dawn break for me, around 0500 hours.

Yeah, those were the days, after my `subuh’ prayer, I will take my place with a huge tin bucket full of overnight soaked coconuts to be scrapped. I will do these chores diligently, and I would normally be given more than 1 big tin, reason being I was fast.

Mom is such an entrepreneur person, whatever she can make money from she will do it. We have many coconut trees on the land, so she will collect all the coconuts, and turn them into cooking oil. She never sells them though, but it saved her money from buying the commercial cooking oil for our use.

My fingers will at times be swollen from cuts that I will acquired accidently from the scrapper, it can go for weeks, because mom always have coconut to be scrapped. I wanted to be the best for mom, always wanting to give her a hand, so that she will not be too tired.

When I come back from school in the afternoon, I will help her to wait by the fire, where the coconut milk will be boiled till the oil starts coming out. It was not a fun thing sitting by the fire, as mom used the husk of the coconut, together with the coconut shells to make the fire, my eyes will be watering from the smoke, I will be smelling of smoke from head to toe, but it gives me the satisfaction of helping mom, thus easing her of the chores.

It was just like yesterday, seeing the bottles and bottles of coconut oil covering the shelf of mom’s kitchen and dining area, she was ever so proud of the coconut oil that she made, day after day.

But now mom is too tired, the coconut trees are too old, I am too far, and making coconut oil is just a distant memory.

My Best Will Never Be Enough

A message in my inbox read, ahhh……………….. just got back from the fish spa, my daughter’s mother’s day gift for me. I smiled feeling happy for my good friend, Alhamdulillah, her three kids really treated her like a queen, even though she is still working and earning for herself.

It brought back memories, when I was forced to live with my grandparents, aunties and uncles and I don’t know who else. I have to grow up faster than my age, and mental capabilities would allow me. Being the youngest to be sent to live with all the adults, I became very reclusive, I just hated everything, and my only happiness is when my parents were back, or when I hopped on to the bus that will take me back across the causeway.

The house was cramped all the time; you see people and people every corner of the house, what I don’t get to see always was my parents face. I use to pine for them and at the same time was so upset why I was sent away from them.

At my young age, I witnessed a lot of unpleasantness; it is still very difficult to erase them in total from my memory bank, though I am no longer spiteful. One incident that will stay forever in my mind’s eyes was the day my mom was verbally abused by her own mom. I was so petrified and scared, I saw my mom crying so much till she has to be taken to the hospital, and was hospitalized for a couple of days. Since that incidence I became a person who does a lot of problem solving in my own tiny head.

When I grow up all I wanted to do was to give my mom everything, despite the difficulties that I have on my own, I just want to give her the world, I never forget to send her gifts or the least a card on mother’s day, to me this is the only way to help her erase all the abused that she received prior, but I guess when you try so hard you can never be good enough.

However, I make a vow that I will never be an abused mom; I will not demand time, money or love from my kids. Like me they never asked to be born, and the only thing that I can do is to be the best possible person/mom/friend to them, yet I also know that my best will never be enough, but I will not stop trying.

Do you wonder if I am still hurting, yes I am……………………………

Happy Mother's Day

It is mother’s day again; we were given flowers as we walk the street today, how wonderful to be celebrated as mothers.

Looking back raising four kids as a single parent was never an easy task, but would I do it all over again, yes without a doubt. I love my kids to bits, I still worry about them all the time, no matter how old they will grow to be, and to me they are still my babies.

There were days that I wish I could just cuddle them, go on protecting them, give them all that they wanted, and never let go.

I went through a lot of hardship alone, to see that they were not deprived of anything that I could possibly provide. I had sleepless nights at time just wondering how do I make ends meet, I had no one to turn to, I could not trust anyone where my kids are concerned. I love them, just so in love with them.

I hope I have been a good parent to them, though I know at times I failed them, but I have never ever stopped loving them. They are the pride of my life.

This message came into my mail box today, it was from my Chef Diva, she wrote a lot more, but I wish to share this portion of her message to me:

“It’s not shocking to me anymore how cruel people can be here but I'm so amazed at how strong the will of the 86 year old lady to protect her daughter... How strong her instinct is, I hope one day I will be able to understand. On that note, Happy Mother's Day! Sorry I almost forgot Real heroes come in the form of mothers and you definitely will forever be my hero. Love you mamita! Hope you had a great day”.

Thank you darling, you make my day as always!!!!!






Happy Mother’s Day to all you mother out there, May the Lord bless you all today and everyday……….

An Angel's Gift

I was nicely tucked in bed ready to play my Zuma, when my little angel walked into the room with a note pad in her hand, my instant thought was that she wanted assistance with her homework again. Suddenly she bends and gives me a kiss on my cheek, holding the note pad toward me, she said “Happy Birthday mama, I have a present for you”.

I took the note pad which was tied with a tiny white ribbon together with a statement clip with it…….. but you have already given me a birthday present, she smiled and confidently told me “consider that one as my mother’s day gift to you”. This tiny brain of a little angel, I am still trying to configure it right…. Ha ha ha.

I opened the note pad, and my heart felt a strong twitch of pride, while I could feel warm tears welling slowly in my eyes, ever so thoughtful, she took all the trouble to do this creative capture of her perception of me.

She confessed that the project was put together with the help of her Chef sister , and it took her less then a week to pen her ideas on the note pad, so meticulous she was, even the note pad was bought with the right number of pages to incorporate my age. She even apologized because she could not get a more presentable note pad.

Nothing matters to me more than the love that you shower on me each day of your growing life, and I hope you will still love me as much in years to come.

Thank you Lord for this little angel.

Lasagna Today

It is Lasagna for dinner today, oven cooking is simpler, cleaner and easier for me, however hubby and my little angel do not favor this kind of cooking too much, so I have scheduled to do oven cooking two times a week, just to be fair to them.

As much as they prefer the `Malay’ style of cooking; they never seem to get enough of my oven cooking as well. Nothing was left of this simple lasagna today.

Ingredients for the filling: Ground beef, one can of whole tomatoes, some tomato paste, 1 large Bombay onion, oregano, rosemary, pepper, salt and sugar to taste

Precook Lasagna skin (10 pieces) soak in boiling water for 15 minutes, drain and towel dry (the reason I soak the skin is because it bakes better)

The layered lasagna before baking

After 20 minutes of baking time, it was just marvellous

Drunk Idiot

Can you imagine this scenario? We had just boarded the tram after a sumptuous Japanese dinner; as usual we were chatting away at nothing, and enjoying the together moment. My little angel found a seat, so do I, but hubby decided to stand the short ride on the tram.

Suddenly, a loud voice was urging hubby to show his license, in a very broken English, “You have license?”, hubby “what license?”, again this rowdy looking guy shouted “You have license”, hubby thought then maybe he wanted to check the ticket.

While hubby took out his wallet, both my little angel and me were also doing the same, in case we need to show our ticket too, however, I noticed that no one else on the tram was reaching out for their wallet.

Once hubby showed his ticket to the rowdy guy, he started to laugh. We were confused for a second, until he decided to high five hubby and do the knuckle knock, he was actually a drunk.
The women seated opposite me immediately told me to ignore them, while the other one was making eye signals telling me to ignore the drunken.

From his seat, while necking his girlfriend, he was making friendly gesture to hubby, I was disgusted of course, lucky for us we were not travelling far on the same tram as the drunk.

It is scary sometimes when you see these drunks all over the place, they have no shame at all, yet they are so rowdy, and I can’t help wondering why the authorities are not taking care of them.

Acknowledgement

Thank you all for the SMS, emails and cards for the birthday wishes, it is very much appreciated. Yeah, I am a year older, wiser than yesterday, and also 10kg heavier. Arr……………………….whoever invented the weighing scale, I so don’t like them.

Thank you again, I am counting His blessings, Alhamdulillah.

*smile*

This is Amal's Story 5

Went to the hospital again today, her POP was off, followed by an X-Ray, and finally to the Doctor. The healing is good, however, she is not to do any kind of sport except for swimming for the next 3 weeks, when the doctor will again evaluate the arm for a clear thumbs up.

I Am Sorry

I am sorry, terribly sorry for my failure to assist you in your time of need; it was even tougher for me to tell you that I do not have the ability at the moment. It must have taken you so much to swallow all your pride to send me that message.

As the only son and brother in the family, you have put everything on hold, including your marriage, your studies and more to help pay for your sister’s huge, and getting larger hospital bills. You took every loan you possibly could, but now it is not only your sister who is in need of financial assistance, but your mother has also been hospitalized, suffering from a heart attack.

You live in the outskirt of the capital city, as you could not afford to live in the city itself. Before many people come out of their dream world, you will already be on the train travelling to work, and you will rush to the hospital to be with your mother and sister later in the evening. I can only imagine your determination despite the frustration of public transport there, but you never fail them, never show you are tired to them, or that you are not having a single cent in your pocket. You are indeed a very good son and brother.

Please don’t be sad that I could not help you now. The world is a very unfair place, but the Lord knows better, so please hang on there, and do not breakdown or give up. He is watching you, and InsyaAllah in good times you can count on me again.

Please accept my apologies.