My New Life as a Caregiving Husband
My wife Heather and I will never forget November 21, 2005, for on this day she was diagnosed with malignant pleural mesothelioma, which is a rare and very deadly form of cancer. This was the day that I became the unprepared caregiver for my wife. The news could not have come at a more devastating time. About three months before this, we celebrated the birth of Lily, our only child, and we could not have been more excited to be new parents. We had planned to spend a joyous first Christmas with her, but that was not to be. Instead, we began a long and difficult journey to save Heather’s life.
I learned of the impact of being a caregiver when my wife and I visited with the doctor for treatment options. We were presented with three options for treatment. There were two good hospitals that were nearby to our home, but neither of them had a well developed program for treating mesothelioma. Our third option was to travel across the country to Boston to visit a man named Dr. Sugarbaker, who specialized in treating this rare cancer. The decision was easy. We told the doctor to get us to Boston as soon as possible.
Our lives were chaotic for the following two months. Heather had to quit her job and I went from full time employment to part time. I went with my wife to appointments, made travel arrangements, took care of Lily and traveled back and forth from Boston. I was overwhelmed and dealt with the fears that I would lose Heather and have to look after Lily on my own. However, I never let Heather see me when I was weak. Despite having these moments of weakness, I knew that the last thing Heather needed was to see my fears. I knew I had to be strong for her. Luckily, I found that I didn’t have to go through this alone.
Many family members, friends and even strangers helped us in multiple ways. Our community rallied around us with everything from kind words of encouragement to financial assistance. My advice to others going through something similar is to accept every offer of help, no matter how big or small. People want to help and you should let them. Don’t be afraid to ask for help either. There is no room for pride in a battle with cancer.
Giving care to someone who has been diagnosed with cancer is hard. You cannot get away from it and cannot be held by emotions. Everyone has bad days, this is inevitable and natural, but you must always hold on to hope for a better tomorrow.
I have never been through an experience as difficult as being a caregiver, but I’ve also never had a job that was more rewarding than caring for my wife. After months of difficult treatment, she was able to defy the odds against her and beat mesothelioma. She has now been cancer free for over 6 years.
We received so much help and support during our battle with cancer that helped us stay strong and hopeful. Now, we wish to return that support by sharing our story with others currently going through a difficult battle with cancer. Never give up hope, and never stop fighting for the ones you love.
No comments:
Post a Comment