Today, I Thought

Sometimes the most random everyday things and experiences force me to stop and rethink. Through these encounters the truths and perceptions I have ingrained in my mind will become clearer pictures of my own reflection.

The experience may be just a simple incident and or moments but it thus provokes the meaning of my life. One way or the other it got me thinking about the chapters of fate.

I am sharing some of those moments that may not have such an impact but indeed a deep meaning to every second of my existence here.

1. Tonight, I was sitting on my bed watching my two angels trying to struggle themselves in my bed and under my blanket. From their body language, I could tell that they will be missing this moment with me soon and I realized that I will be missing them more. Two and one year respectively being with me here, they both made me think that precious moments are to be treasured and not to be taken for granted.

2. Today, after so many false promises and cheap hopes, I asked myself what my expectation of people will be. My answer, “Que Sera Sera, whatever will be, will be.”

3. Today, I remember attending the ‘wake’ of a friend, and I realized how death is to be celebrated and not to be mourned with sorrow. I saw many unfamiliar faces but they have only come together to remember what laughter and joy the demised has brought to each and every one of their lifes. I smile remembering some of the things that was said.

4. Today, I took Chef Diva out for another quality time. Weirdly enough we were not laughing our head off for nothing like usual, I gather it must be the cold wind that had taken all the senses away from her. She seems a bit quirky, and deep in thought, I wonder why.

5. Today, I waited anxiously for any of my angels to come and chat with me online, but none were there. I felt that life is passing me by; I contemplate their need for me as much as my need for them.

6. Today, I walked out alone in silence looking around me for some familiar faces to call my own but there were none. As I passed by all the shops I could only see my own reflection making me realize that it is time to let go.

7. Today, a friend became our guest. Through all the talks and laughter I still wonder how truthful can this person be? Buying me a present and promising to meet for Christmas, but I could only see blank promises. Could it be her or just my misjudgments again?

8. Today, I realized why I don’t like snow. It is only pretty for a moment, but underneath it lays all the darkness of miseries and fake of a beauty. It got me thinking about many people that are just like the snow. People of darkness, was it fate that I keep encountering them as I walk on my life?

9. Today, I saw a pretty scary looking guy who had a tall red Mohawk and tattoos and piercings all over his exposed body. I was quick to judge until I saw him helping a young mother lift her baby’s stroller onto the tram. Never ever judge a book by its cover, old proverb but lesson should be long learned already.

10. Today, I married the man that has come to my dreams way before we actually met. All this time I have been kissing too many frogs to find a man I could call my prince. He came and conquered my life, half my age younger than me he is a living proof that not all good man are taken yet. I just have to open my eyes and heart to the right one. Thank you Lord for a gift of a wonderful man.

11. Today, I got the opportunity to smell my grandson for the very first time. It is such precious moment that I wish and pine for over and over again.

12. Today, as I was riding on the tram and saw that man again sitting on the pavement in front of the shop, which spot has become his home; I wonder what a life wasted? May be someday I will see him tying some yellow ribbons around all the oak trees, may be.

13. Today, I checked my account balance and realized. “I couldn’t be any more broke!” I cried letting my tears flow shamelessly as I walked outside to gleam at the grey skies. Just then a dirty looking homeless man limped out dragging his possession of trash, why do I cry over a negative balance?

14. Today, I saw this man kneeling on his knee and holding a sign that reads “Ich bin Hunger”. I was so tempted to give him some change until I realized that he has been hungry since summer and still kneeling in the winter.

15. Today, I greeted my husband with anger when I opened the door, when in his hand he was holding a stalk of beautiful white lily for me. I forgot the sweetness of this man because I am too consumed by my own self-centered.

16. Today, I spent more than three hours with my cancer stricken girlfriend, and walked away wondering what was it that she wanted to tell me but left without saying it?