I Just Want To Drift Away And Fly

I was again sleep deprived last night, besides the untimely persisting appearance of the pain; I was just full of anxiety. There were butterflies in my stomach; my heart was missing a beat ever too often. I on the TV but it does not work to distract me from the pain and the anxiety, neither when I put on my headphones to listen to some music.

I could almost see the pain sawing in me, sawing me into tiny pieces. As much as I wanted to ignore the nastiness of its victory over me, the pain was real, it was unbearable. I could feel my eyes teary in the darkness of this winter night but no amount of tears could wipe away the agony of being sawed alive in my own mine.

I can barely touch any part of my body without cringing, and I tried holding my breath so that the pain will be less, till I can hardly breathe properly already, and honestly part of me does not want to continue breathing for fear of the pain setting in again.

At this moment, I just want to drift away and fly to the land of no pain.

Lord Help.