This Is It

“This is what it is, this is it”, I said to myself, there is no turning back, no point regretting or going into the mode of “why me”. I am willing to accept the facts that no matter how many doctors that I have visited, and how many different diagnosis that was given, nothing is going to change.

This is now my real state of situation, living and embracing in the growing pain. I am emphatic and noting the facts that no matter what, things can only get worse, therefore, I am standing by the rules and regulations of pain management. Sometimes it works and most of the time it will be a failure. I am beginning to despise being experimented upon. After all doctors are just human, and the tendency of them making mistake is much higher than normal people.

I am not sure or rather I DON’T know what the future holds but I do know that I'm going to be positive and not wake up feeling desperate, and in need of someone to be by my side all the time. This is what it is for me now and I will not say or think what it should have been or could have been.