Let Him Walk With You

Today Sari called again, my first impression is that she was saying goodbye before leaving for her two weeks vacation today, I told her to have fun and be happy always. However, something in her voice was not too happy. I wanted to ignore this, maybe it was just my imagination, till she spilled the beans out.

She suddenly told me in between our small talks that her tumor marker result was bad, indeed her doctor was very concerned, as it was the highest ever. She also said that she had done the CT scan too regular, and that she is not willing to go through another one yet. I let her talk and share with me what is comfortable for her, then she asked me “what do you think, I should do?” I was baffled, what can I say, what can I advise, I know not too much to share, I know not too little to ignore. I felt a lump building in my throat, no; I cannot let her hear the sadness in my voice.

In the end, I just told her to consult her Oncologist again, get his advice and go with what is best for her. I also told her to have faith in the Lord, for He knows what no one else pretends to know, for He will be with us all the time when no one else have time for us, for He will give us the peace that we sought after when everyone else can only give us misery. I told her to keep me informed of her condition anytime she wants to, and not to worry about imposing on me.

Ironically this was what the late Dalila (Al Fatiha) wrote in her blog, where her tumor marker count was just increasing, and that the doctor was puzzled to what it could be, or what could not have been.

We ended the conversation by wishing each other all the best, and with the promised that we will not stop the flow of communication. I told her to have peace in her herself too.