At A Crossroad

After receiving the text message at around 0453 hours this morning, I could not go back to sleep again, suddenly it was difficult for me to put things into perspective. I found that I was at a crossroad, where do I go, what can I do and how will I manage?

The message told me that a very close girl friend of mine, who I have known for more than 20 years, is terminal. I could feel the tears immediately forming in my eyes, yet I still could not cry, I know this is not going to be good for me, because crying used to cleanse all the misery that I felt, but I guess after being bashed over and over again, I totally forgot how to cry. Therefore, I could not mourn the sad news that I got so early in the morning.

The sender who is the only brother to my girl friend keeps informing me of her status throughout the day. At one point of time when I was talking to my Medic Princesses I forgot that she is not in town, I nearly wanted to tell her to go and see my girl friend and do what I would have done for a dear friend.

Indeed today I could not go anywhere without saying a prayer for her and for my sister, the crossroad that I was in gave me no avenue for any option. There were so much that I could have done, would have done, yet I am stuck at a turning where no trains travel at the same time zone with all those that are precious to me.

To ease a bit of the heartache, I talked about my girl friend to hubby and my two angels; I went out to look for things for my sister, this way I know that they are never too far from me. As I wrote this entry, I am still waiting for news about my girl friend as well as my sister. Deep in my heart I am praying to the Lord to give both of them an inner peace that only He can give.

Just know that I am never too far from you, and that I love you.