I'm Scared As Hell

What is it that when you are happy, it will not last as long as you have wanted it to be. It is kind of strange but then I also discovered that even in sadness it will not last long, so what am I pondering about? This is life, smile and get moving.

I told myself that I do not want to write too much about things concerning my sickness, as I cannot help but made the writing sound so pathetic and so sad. I don’t want to be sad, it is not good for me, for my hubby and for my little angel here, but excuse me I am only human.

Anyways, today I will confess that I have seen some darker days recently, which caused me to cry suddenly and pondering the toll of time. Yeah, I cried like a baby alone, when the house is empty, when I know no one is watching me, when I know no one can hear me and when I know my reaction will be my own secrets and not affecting anyone at that very moment. I am hopeless when it comes down to be sad.

Life is a real high of a roller coaster for me right now. I will not let you know the reason why, but I promise to get out and start dancing in the rain and bask in the beautiful sun. I am doing everything I can to enjoy the ride even when I'm scared as hell.