I Am Still Not Giving Up The Understanding……………

There were moments that I am beginning to doubt the act at play. It was so easy to put blame on stress and being over controlled, when there could be no more excuses that anyone would buy. Maybe it is not bipolar this time, maybe it is the way words are being thrown around, it seems to be so easy for you to be abusive with your words, and for other members of the family to tolerate, and I suddenly realized that you are taking this gesture of caring and loving for granted.

Trying to put the family dynamic back in focus, and not to be comprehended by any dysfunction has a new meaning now. I find myself the target for your bull’s eye shot, no matter how good a day will start; it has now become a norm that you have to create a tiny bit of conflict. It is as though you are enjoying the ride so much that you have no care for others’ feeling anymore.

When we try to put the conflicts to a dull roar, just letting it be there and ignoring the drama that was screaming for attention, you will then recoiled into the childishness act of mopping around and throwing a self-pity party, and lies will be travelling the world through the keyboard of your computer, while the truth that we want you to see stay strayed outside the bedroom door.

I am still not giving up the understanding………………………