This Is The PRIDE Parade

This entry has long been overdue, but I have been very busy and not feeling too good, therefore, the silence. Attended the Pride parade which is a yearly event here, but this years it was kind of boring and some over revealing participants ruin the meaning of the word PRIDE (pictures too gross to be posted here).  Just go with your imagination on that ok.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Lord, I Pray

Yesterday, hubby and me had some alone time. Alone time is super rare to us now, but we are not complaining. However, when the opportunity arrives, we try to bundle in as much quality time together as we possibly could. Every day, is a mystery to us, no plan is worth putting on the planner diary anymore, but we are happy and that is most important. 

Dear Lord, I pray:

Dear Lord, teach me, to be sweet and gentle in all the events of my everyday life

Dear Lord, teach me to be patient, and gentle in confronting my disappointments, in facing the frustration thoughtlessness of others, in the insincerity of those I trusted, and in the unfaithfulness of those on whom I trusted.

Dear Lord, let me forget myself so that I may enjoy the happiness of others.

Dear Lord, please let me always hide my pains, tears and heartaches so that I may be the only one to suffer from them.

Dear Lord, please teach me to be a better person from all the suffering that comes across my path. Dear Lord, please do not let me be bitter.

Dear Lord, each time I came to a junction of failure and desolation, please always whisper Your word of love to me.

Dear Lord, thank you for the wonderful husband that you have given to me, may our life together be blissful always.

Life Is Not A Bed Of Roses

Life is NOT a bed of roses NOR it is a fairytale so, 

Don't just sit and wait for prince Charming to come on a white horse! 

Don't think that the bad guy will always lose because sometimes you will! 

Don't think your friendships will never end! 

Don't think you are all that perfect, because the truth is that NONE of us is! 

(Don't talk to animals because seriously... they will not reply!!) 

Don't think everything is always going to be alright but most MOST importantly, 

DON’T think everything has a Happy Ending!!! because it does NOT!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

  

  

 

 

 

I Love You Mum

Thought this is too beautiful to pass, so I am posting it here to share 

Do Not Begrudge Them

Since the onset of the BP I have been trying to go around looking for support groups, be it from the family, friends or strangers with similar experience, all I can tell you is that it has not been an easy journey, but I am managing.

It is very important for me to let everyone know that BP is no different from other ailment that requires long term medication and treatment. Please stop judging them and treating them like as though they are bad people. This is not what they wanted; therefore do not abuse them with your languages (verbally) or your normal behavior. Do not degrade them, never ever do this.

To my readers who are following the latest in my life, I beg of you to be compassionate of them and to give your utmost to understand them. if you are a parent like me, try to talk to the members of your family and educate them as much as you possibly could. Try to forgive them, yet be firm when you experience their moment of impracticality. Try to give all the love and support that you can and help make the situation better for them at all time.

Do not begrudge them for it can only make them feel more alone.

She Trawled The Internet

“She trawled the internet, following trails as fine as spider webs; news stories, websites, blogs, seeking ever seeking something ill-defined and elusive, allowing shapes and images to take gradual shape in the back of her mind until the outlines become harder and unalterable.”

- Strangers and Pilgrims -

Unexpected Scattered Of Anxiety

Normal days seem to pass so fast, it can get pretty depressing at time but what choice do we all have? We are tip toeing like professional ballerinas for fear that any small slip will be the thunder before an unpredictable storm.

However, when we choose to ignore you and to give you the private space that you had demanded for, you will suddenly seem to be doing better, you become more talkative, more optimistic, and more normal. You can stay engaged in a conversation for hours on end, normal, normal and so normal. But distracting yourself from all normalcies is a must, you desperately will dig deep inside to feel that hole of emptiness and make as much problem as you can just for attention.

Some days has become partly sunny with unexpected scattered of anxiety for us now, and we are learning to embrace this with faith.

All The Lonely People

“all the lonely people....where do they all belong?”

Imagine: in a world full of lonely people, with their own heart aches and tragedies and disappointments, feeling beyond help and healing

Imagine: sitting at a computer in the small hours of the mornings, waiting and hoping for...what?

Imagine: in despair typing the words My heart is broken and I am dying inside into a search engine as your last ditch effort to reach someone, something that might help

Imagine: that six strangers did just this and found themselves drawn into an internet conversation with the mysterious Warden of the House of the Wellspring, who offers them a chance to heal their unbearable hurts.

The catch? To do so they must visit the House of the Wellspring and offer their hearts' desire as an exchange for this healing.

On a cold, bleak day at the end of October the six bring their stories as well as their pain to the remote cottage that is the House of the Wellspring but where is the Warden they all longed to meet and where is the magical Wellspring that all came to find?

Excellent Reading.................... please take the time to read and spare the money to buy this book. 

Trying To Put Near Normal Back (5)

Trying to put near normal back to life, we went shopping at a shop that was closing for business.  Everything was selling at 50% off, I love shopping at bargains all my life, so we went round and round, and I bought whatever I have been eyeing and that was just things for the kitchen (my favorite).  CD found plasticine and decided to get 2 boxes for her to release her boredom. Look what she came out with, don't you think she is simply creative and good with her hands?

 Duckling

 Horse head 

 Snaily

 

  Mermaid

 Dory 

  Unicorn

Pegasus

....... That’s All That I Am Asking Out Of You.

I have been hurt in my life far too many times to even bother feeling anything anymore, but seeing the one that I love struggling with bipolar and fighting it head on, and not getting the support as well as understanding of family members is more hurtful to me than anything else.

I want family members to understand that the struggle is not always about her personally controlling the symptoms on her own, I want them to understand how ugly it really is. I want them to understand how sad it is to be in her situation when people refused to understand and cannot accept that bipolar is a real illness.

I want them to understand that it is no different than any other illness, except that this one takes over not only the mind but the body as well. How can anyone be so judgmental and confused when it comes to the question of bipolar, especially during the moment when they cannot control their actions? I want them to understand that it is not their intention to be selfish and hurtful to people around them, it is their chemistry going out of sync with how it should normally be, thus causing all kinds of absurd problems, actions, and thoughts.

I want family members to forgive her when she becomes verbally abusive, and understand her, and DO NOT give up on her. It is very important that family members do not judge her for all her actions during the intense periods. I would like family members to take time to learn about bipolar with me and understand her, and see how much better she can be when being treated correctly (by way of medication and family support).

I would also like to share the knowledge that there are significant studies that relate Bipolar disorder as hereditary as well as environmental triggers (I will write about the hereditary factor soon).

Try to learn and understand, that’s all that I am asking out of you.

I Would Rather Be Insulted

We are changing the medication, the new medication was not easy to get. After visiting several Apotheke, I finally managed to get the supply. With this new medication, I am hoping to see new results.

It was good when you realized that you need to go to the gym or to go for a walk in the park or to just jog your excess weight away. You have been complaining that you have limited freedom to go out but you forgot to mention the reason for the limitation, but it is not my nature to hang any dirty laundry of the family for public consumption. Therefore, I am letting it be. The moral of the day if you want to get better you shall be better, if you don’t you can go on harboring as much hatred as you possibly can. The world is a stage so act and be glorious on that stage of yours.

From my readings I discovered that besides medication and counseling, you are also recommended to exercise as much as you can, and to limit your obsessiveness in the cyber world. Exercise is an excellent outlet for you to get an immediate fix to your problems of anxiety as well as anger or frustration, and unlike medications, exercise is an immediate fix to those problems. Exercise is a real catalyst in dealing with negative emotions. We give you the freedom to exercise.

Eating good food is also very highly recommended. However, when I limited the supply of certain food that would trigger any kind of high in you, especially food that are high in carbohydrate and sugar and red meat, you will be so angry, and you will come up with all sorts of excuses to throw your insults at me. I took those insults and cry when it became too much but for your own good, I would rather be insulted. Junk food is one of the worse, all the sugar and fats can make you feel sluggish and depressed after the initial sugar high wears off.