The Art Of Listening

This morning I was again poised to remind hubby what two way communication is all about. Inadvertently, it suddenly filled me with thoughts about how often people actually do listen, more importantly how often do hubby and the kids actually listen to me?

Sometimes I was given the impression that I was being heard, yet later I realize that I was actually being ignored. It could be more detrimental at times when my emotional stakes are high and crying out loud for attention. I may be tough but I do get emotional once in I don’t know when.

There were times that when I talked and even repeated myself, and was given the nod of the head, meaning what I said was taken as understood and confirmed, yet at the end of the day to be told that what I said was forgotten. Trust me I could just jump up at the ceiling.

This is where I learn the hard way of course, that listening is a two-way process. I will have to constantly check with hubby or the kids to make sure that I was heard, and they will roll their eyes at me. Telling me that they are not deaf and to stop repeating myself. However, if this is the only way to get them to listen than I am not shy to keep on checking.

I would like them to know the frustration of when somebody acts as if they have listened and being attentive to, yet then they don’t follow through. When this happens I want them to know that it is an overwhelming experience of disappointment on my part. Again if the situation warrants for something that is so urgent, I will take it that it is indeed a betrayal from their side.

May be someday I will teach them the art of listening, because listening in itself may involve more than the ears, it also involves our eyes, our feelings and our instincts. Thus, when you say you are listening to me, you are actually giving me your whole, and that is what I appreciate.

I have encountered many moments when I have not even finished telling them everything, to find that they were already out of my way. Yeah, trust me it has happened, therefore, this is an indication that they do not want to listen. But, wait a minute, I am not one to give up, so you either listen or I must insist on being heard. Pick your choice.