Solitude

I love being alone, been in solitude. This is the moment for me to inhale and to know the possibilities from the impossibilities. They said, I'm being arrogant but they forget how far I've walked to patch things up, to try to fit in, but my afford is nothing compared to what they want.

Please leave me alone in my space, to understand me, to love me, to enjoy me, to forgive me, and continue my distance away from you.

Pardon me, because I do really need to reset, recharge and regroup me. I love my solitude.

Don't Understand

I am trying to understand, and still find it impossible to understand, how my name often ends up in the mouths of people that I don't even know, and never spoken to in any day of my life.

Life is strange, but people are nasty. Therefore, strange is nothing.

Me

Study me as much as you like, you will never know me, for I differ a hundred ways from what you see me to be. Put yourself behind my eyes and see me as I see myself, for I have chosen to dwell in a place you cannot see - Rumi

Words

Your words thrown freely at me
As though I'm deaf,
As though I'm dead,
As though I'm nothing,
As though I'm without feelings.

It hurts me
More than you can imagine
More than I can express
More than words can describe
More than the tears that I hold back

You treated me
Like a wasted being
Like a leopard without spots
Like a rainbow without colors
Like a night without the moon

Why me?
Because you know I love you
Because you know I'm very forgiving
Because you know I'm not nasty
Because you know I'll never stop praying for you

Above all, because you know a mother's love conquered even the deepest of darkness in your heart.

May Allah Swt forgive you and keep you safe always.

Allah Knows

When I'm crying, Allah knows
When I'm hurting, Allah knows
When I'm laughing, Allah knows
When I'm afraid, Allah knows
Whatever I do, Allah knows all

I'm never alone, because Allah is always with me
Allah knows how much my heart is breaking
Allah hear all my prayers, and crying in begging Him
It is not that Allah is ignoring me, but I'm very sure that He is only planning the best for me

In Shaa Allah

Never Too Far

This is our life boo, it's been more than a year. It's tough, it's sad, it's lonely and it's scary; been away from each other.

It is not our call boo, what plans He has for us will always be the best. Our Creator is the best of planner forever.

I'll keep on fighting this disease, I'll go on with my life. I'll push sadness away and try to erase it from my vocabulary. I live my life by minutes, by hours if not by days, that's what cancer has taught me boo.

I'm stronger because I know, boo, you're fighting this battle harder than I am. Thank you for everything my love.

I love you till Jannah.

People Don't Always Change

With all the tribulations that I have been through, and at this age, I must realized that hopes are yours, but it is never yours without His blessings.

People don't change, they never will. Therefore, stop thinking that they would someday.

Trust your heart and know that all that's good can only come from your Creator.