His Love For Her

This is my mak; she is recuperating from an operation where she had a broken hip. I have met many women who inspired me along the way in my life but my mak will always top that list. Mak went through a lot of things in her life raising 8 children but none of her children were denied the opportunity of a good education.

Today I would like to write about the loyalty of a love story between my abah and mak that lead to mak having the broken hip. Since all their children are adults with families, my parents have been living most of the time on their own. While abah loves reading newspapers and sitting in the house, mak loves to do gardening. They live on a big plantation where coconuts, bananas, pineapples, cocoa are planted. It is mak’s duty to daily walk around the plantation and see what can be harvested and what need to be replanted, and this is her form of exercise too. Mind you mak is more than 80 years of age.

On that fateful day mak went to cut a banana tree that she thought was not of any use anymore, Abah was watching her nearby. In the act he noticed that if mak does not move from the position where she was standing, the banana tree might fall on her and might hurt her, so Abah without any bad intention had pushed her to be away from the fallen banana tree. Yes, that pushed had resulted on mak falling down and broke her hip. All I know at that moment mak was in so much pain and Abah was distraught.

Mak of course was taken to the district hospital where they discovered the broken hip; arrangement was made for her to be transferred to a better private hospital in Kuala Lumpur for the operation to take place. It was her first time being operated upon, but she was strong and Abah never left her side.

It was Abah’s love that caused mak the predicament, but don’t you think it was so sweet of him to be that caring. However, the Almighty had other plan for mak. Get well soon mak, I love you so much.

Apam Balik (WHo would have thought?)

As mentioned in several of my entries, due to the effect of the medication on me, my appetite was very confusing and I had food cravings every now and then.  Apam balik was one of the food cravings.  Last Sunday I decided to try my hand at making the Apam balik, the results was fantastic and I love it.  I was also happy to share the Apam balik during my Sunday class at the mosque. 

Ingredients: Two cups all purpose flour, 1.5 cup of coconut milk, 1/2 cup peanut (roasted and pounded),  1/2 cup sweet corn, 1 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda, 1 teaspoon baking powder, 1 egg, 1 teaspoon of vanilla essence and a pinch of salt.
Method: Mix all the ingredients together into a thick batter and leave to rest for at least 30 minutes.

On a medium high stove, heat a heavy bottom non stick pan. Add 1/2 cup of the batter and swirl it round to form a thin skin, cover for a minute, then add a teaspoon of the pounded roasted peanuts, and some sweet corn.  Put the cover on again and leave for another 1 minute.  Just before taking the Apam balik off the stove add 1 teaspoon of salted butter.

 

Fold the Apam balik into two and let it cool down before cutting to your desired size.

 

Sardine And Potato Samosa

I wanted to make some curry puff but always come out wrong with the pastry, so today I decided to make Samosa with sardine and potato fillings.  I still don't know how to do the pastry for the Samosa skin though, but instead I used a packet of frozen 'roti canai' or 'roti paratha' as the skin.  It turn out to be a very good and a successful idea and tasted good too.

The filling: chopped yellow onion, curry power, chopped potatoes, a can of sardine in tomato sauce, and salt to taste.

 Plain 'roti canai" or 'roti Paratha'.  This is the brand that is available here

 Frozen single 'roti canai' let it thaw for 2 minutes only

 cut into half

 then into quarter, and add the filling on one of the quarter and top with another quarter

 use a fork to seal the edges

 brushed with egg wash and bake in the oven for 20 to 25 minutes

 

fresh from the oven and was oh................. so delicious

Just A Little Boy At Heart

Hubby is just a little boy at heart.  I took this video of him on the day that he won a drone flying competition organized by some group of geeks here.  He used his mobile to fly the drone.  You can see how happy he was being allowed to fly the drone in our living room.

Spring Is In The Air

One of my daughters told me that my blog lately sounded so sad, and this caught me by surprised. I don’t mean to sound sad in my writing, but I was just putting my feelings to pen so that I will not be bottling things up. Hence, I have decided that I will try to focus my writing on something not related to my cancer or my situation for this month.

It is spring now and the sun is shining ever so brightly, I have managed to do a lot of walking, in fact I managed to climb up to the 6th floor of a building without any assistance and I was very proud of myself. Walking has become a part of my routine for the spring and summer weather, and since spring came very late this year, I hope to catch up with my walking and do more walking before the cold season pull out its curtain again.

To some of my readers on this blog, if at any point of time I had come out to be someone so sad, so down and so pleading, please bear with me, but I promise you that for the whole of this month I will try to get out of my loop hole and snap out of the melancholy feelings, and focus on the positiveness of the beautiful weather.

Spring is in the air.

and Protect Him and Love Him More Than You Love Me.....

 

When we first met, I don’t remember the exact date and I am sure he would not know that date too. It was not significant to us then and not even now, because what follows that meeting was history.

Though we did not meet on the wrong platform but I was a different person then, much younger, more outgoing, love to dress up, love to color my hair, adorn the latest fashion and brand etc etc.

We don’t have many similarities to begin with, we were totally opposite, totally……….. except that we both are very home person, we don’t like the night life, we are very private people and love being with family more than going out with friends.

Yes, of course back then I was not wearing the ‘hijab’, though we have discussed and debated on this matter a couple of time. He can be too philosophical and rather than pursuing the subject, I chose to just drop it. However, now it is different, I decided to make my own decision and no longer discuss the matter of ‘hijab’ with him. He loved the baldness feeling of my crew-cut hair that he did for me, but I am done totally done. Yesterday was the first real date that we went out together with me adorning the ‘hijab’. Yes, you guess right, he was upset; keep telling me to take it off, but his warm and attention towards me was not any lesser than when I was without it. I pray and hope that in time to come, he will also accept my ‘hijab’ as he had accepted the moment that I refused to color my hair anymore, or the moment when I stop wanting the material things in life and live at the simplest. In Syaa Allah.

Lord, Almighty please guide my husband always, and protect him and love him more than you love me. Amin.

Tell Me If The Medical System Is Not Abused…….

I don’t know why I am sitting here alone and crying my heart out. I remember the sacrifices that my husband has done for me and my kids, he took all of us, and accepts the kids as though they were his own. And now I am sick, he could not bear to see the pain that I am going through, I tried to hide things from him as much as I possibly could, but there were days like last night when the pain was so much that I could not hide it from him. He hugged me and I could hear the tears in his voice, I cannot bear to make him sad. He deserves better than just to be taking care of me, he has been the best husband that I could wish for and I only want him to be happy.

We have decided that if things are going to get too tough here, we will have to find some other place to go to, where medical expenses will be more affordable. He is willing to leave this job now and go with me where I think I will be able to get the best medical attention that I will need.

On this note I have to mention that because of the purging and the pain that I am having, I tried calling my GP this morning for an urgent appointment. The telephone conversation went:

Me: good morning, can I get an appointment with Dr. Y today

Nurse: no, I am sorry; I cannot give you any appointment at all today and the earliest I can give you is on May 3.

Me: but I am in a lot of pain and I need to see her

Nurse: sorry, she is too busy

Me: can I just go and wait in the clinic?

Nurse: then you will have to wait for 45 hours

Me: you mean 45 minutes

Nurse: no, I mean 45 hours

Me: thank you

This is the type of the medical system that you got to bear with here, and you cannot walk to the hospital without a referral letter. The only way that you can get to the hospital without a referral letter is by calling the ambulance to come and take you from the house, but then you will be referred to the hospital that you are not engaged with.

Tell me if the medical system is not abused…….

I've Been Purging

I’ve been purging for more than a week, really don’t know what is causing this. First I thought it was the milk that is doing this to me, so I stopped drinking the milk but still the purging does not go away. Then I started to do the ¾ day fasting, still it is there. I am getting more confused by the day at the direction that my body system is heading to. Hence, I opted for light food, turning to rice porridge and more salad, still the purging continues. Does anyone have any suggestion to what could be the cause?

Pictures of the rice porridge with the side dishes:

 

Rice porridge

 Fried Indian Mackerel

 Chili Anchovies

Scallion Omelette

It Is Ridiculous......

I am at this confused stage of my situation at the moment. One thing for sure my appetite does not seems to be getting back to normal, then this stomach gurgling that I am experiencing is getting from bad to worse. The indigestion that I have can be so painful that I find it even difficult to breath. Then it keeps taking me to the loo too often than what I am used to. The fever keeps smiling at me and refusing to leave too. I am seriously thing of not taking all the medication any more, not only that it is causing me financial constraints but it is also giving me all these uneasy situation of my everyday life.

It is ridiculous…………

It Is Your Lost Not Mine

A courier delivery guy came ringing the house bell, when I was all dressed in my praying attire and about to start my ‘solat’. I have no choice but to go to the door in my praying attire, I am not sure if the attire was too offensive to him, but he refused to make eye contact when giving me the parcel. He was not even uttering any word; in reverse I was asking him questions instead. He shoved the mechanical machine for me to sign and acknowledge the receipt of the parcel, before I can finish putting my signature; he was pulling the machine away from me leaving the pen dangling as he quickly moved on. I thought it was so funny, if you don’t respect my religion or may be if you think that my praying attire was too much for your eyes, honestly it is your lost not mine.

Thank you sis for remember me…………. love you.

My New Life as a Caregiving Husband

Guest Writer - Cameron VSJ

My New Life as a Caregiving Husband 

My wife Heather and I will never forget November 21, 2005, for on this day she was diagnosed with malignant pleural mesothelioma, which is a rare and very deadly form of cancer. This was the day that I became the unprepared caregiver for my wife. The news could not have come at a more devastating time. About three months before this, we celebrated the birth of Lily, our only child, and we could not have been more excited to be new parents. We had planned to spend a joyous first Christmas with her, but that was not to be. Instead, we began a long and difficult journey to save Heather’s life.

I learned of the impact of being a caregiver when my wife and I visited with the doctor for treatment options. We were presented with three options for treatment. There were two good hospitals that were nearby to our home, but neither of them had a well developed program for treating mesothelioma. Our third option was to travel across the country to Boston to visit a man named Dr. Sugarbaker, who specialized in treating this rare cancer. The decision was easy. We told the doctor to get us to Boston as soon as possible.

Our lives were chaotic for the following two months. Heather had to quit her job and I went from full time employment to part time. I went with my wife to appointments, made travel arrangements, took care of Lily and traveled back and forth from Boston. I was overwhelmed and dealt with the fears that I would lose Heather and have to look after Lily on my own. However, I never let Heather see me when I was weak. Despite having these moments of weakness, I knew that the last thing Heather needed was to see my fears. I knew I had to be strong for her. Luckily, I found that I didn’t have to go through this alone.

Many family members, friends and even strangers helped us in multiple ways. Our community rallied around us with everything from kind words of encouragement to financial assistance. My advice to others going through something similar is to accept every offer of help, no matter how big or small. People want to help and you should let them. Don’t be afraid to ask for help either. There is no room for pride in a battle with cancer.

Giving care to someone who has been diagnosed with cancer is hard. You cannot get away from it and cannot be held by emotions. Everyone has bad days, this is inevitable and natural, but you must always hold on to hope for a better tomorrow.

I have never been through an experience as difficult as being a caregiver, but I’ve also never had a job that was more rewarding than caring for my wife. After months of difficult treatment, she was able to defy the odds against her and beat mesothelioma. She has now been cancer free for over 6 years.

We received so much help and support during our battle with cancer that helped us stay strong and hopeful. Now, we wish to return that support by sharing our story with others currently going through a difficult battle with cancer. Never give up hope, and never stop fighting for the ones you love.

Stay Tuned

I started my blog a long time ago, it started when I have to fill up time as I was living apart from my husband who had taken a job with an international organization in Europe. When it is day in the place that I was living, it will be night where he was, we had to stay focused in order to give each other the quality time that we had always had. Therefore, while waiting for him to complete his daily work, I refused to stay idle and started to write, so the entrance of my blog.

From my blog I have made a couple of blogger friends, I cherished their opinion, some become more personal friends to me than others, but in the end I still consider them my friends even if it is only in the cyber world.

Cameron VSJ came to my blog one day, and would like to share his experience as a caregiver to his wife. From his blog http://www.mesothelioma.com/blog/authors/cameron it is very interesting to read what he went through to give the best to his wife who was diagnosed with mesothelioma, a very rare kind of cancer.

In my next entry I will be publishing an article by Cameron as my guest writer, and I welcome anyone else who would like to share their cancer experience in my blog for the benefit of my readers as well as my own.

Stay tuned.